New to 7 Cups in August 2019? Say Hello Here & Meet Others who Joined in August too!

Greetings :)

Just moved back home with my parents 40 min away and from anything and nobody in my family really talks so feeling lonely. I work at home and don't want to dump my problems on the same people anymore. Nice to meet you all. I hope to find some chat after work so I won't feel so sad all the time.

This is a new place for me, or at least it has been so long since I have been here as a member--2006?

Could it have been that long?

Long enough that it was pretty unknown then. But my point was the nice guy on the other side made me feel good enough about myself that I didn't do what I planned on doing when I got off the phone.

There's been a lot of water under the bridge.

I went from overwhelmed with depression, anxiety that I didn't have identified in my life and all the other things that come in self-discovery.

I'm here again for more self-discovery, to firm up some truths in my mind and to work through the bits that still puzzle me.

I get in safe ruts.

It is a goal of mine to be a Listener.

I get the impression all you need is the will to do it and not to cause harm, which I guess most folks, including myself, could go right into that role.

I want to work on myself and go through that mind-lowing amount of classes that are available to us, apply what I can and know better about people that I don't understand as well as I should. I'd like to be a listener with some solid background to work with others.

I've lived my life in the suburbs, which have their own way of isolating an individual, in the USA, another isolating culturally place to be from.

I am a gay man. I have quiet BPD2, ADHD and have a narcissistic charm--all of which is not who you meet when you meet me, Bob. I'm trying to incorporate all the elements that are me and gather them all under the same roof and be just One.

Thanks for letting me introduce myself. Hey, to all that are around me on the page and to all I might interact with.

Warm, bright wishes for us all,

Bob.

Hello. You can call me Tei. I found this place by accident. Or maybe it was fated. I don't know. I'm struggling and have been on and off all my life. I'm in a rough spot so I'm trying to reach out. My first listener was a bit creepy, IMHO. Hopefully, it will get better. I have been to conventional therapy on and off for years. I'm not in a situation, nor have I ever been, where the honest support of family and friends without ulterior motives is offered. I currently cannot afford therapy as I'm 40+, a sole provider on a fixed income and take care of 3 family members and a fourth non-family member. I don't know if that's a good introduction or not but there it is.

May all who pass through be safe, well and loved without undue burden or restriction.

T

Hi all, I am going to go by Grey for now. I am new around here. I stumbled upon this page when looking for online support communities. 2019 has been one of the most challenging years of my life. I am approaching the upper half of my 30s and realizing that my direct support system amounts to 2 people at best, and those individuals both have enough on their plates.

I am struggling with anxiety and depression. I am not in a place where I can seek professional help. I use to be a happy go lucky person who saw the good in everything and everyone around her. I don't know if I want to be that person again, but I do know I no longer want to be the person I am now. Most days I don't want to get out of bed though I can never seem to sleep. I force myself to eat most days. I find myself losing my temper too quickly. I just want to be able to function again.

Hi, my name is Megan Shewmake. I am new to this website or really any online supportive community. I am 21. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, anxiety, and bulimia. The summer after my senior year of high school, I moved out of my parents' home. I was 17 at the time soon to be 18. I thought I knew what was best for me even though I had been suffering for an eating disorder for years without anyone knowing except my best friend at the time who also developed an eating disorder a few years after me (so I knew the signs). Anyway, shortly after I moved out I started having night terrors about my sexually and emotionally abusive relationship when I was 15 years old. I never told anyone it was toxic, and once it ended (thanks to my friend who said what I couldn't to my ex and could tell something wasn't right) I quickly shoved it deep down and tried my hardest to forget about it. When the night terrors began, I quickly began avoiding sleep. My eating disorder became worse quickly, and the depression that I didn't know I had was crippling. My boyfriend at the time (super healthy relationship) encouraged me to seek out help, and he even helped me find and call a therapist in my area. In our first appointment, we went into depth about the toxic relationship and sexual abuse. I left crying, and felt out of control. Late the night I attempted to overdose, and I thank God that my ex found me and call the police. After recovering in the hospital, I went to a psych ward for a few weeks. I learned about the mental illnesses that I had, and I decided that I needed to learn how to heal these wounds. The psych ward diagnosed me with an eating disorder as well, but they didn't mention treatment for it. So when I was discharged I went back to my eating disorder with open arms. I also began seeing a therapist regularly. About six months later, my therapist recommended going to an eating disorder treatment center and expressed to me that we could not work on my trauma if I was not in a stable mindset. So I went, and insurance was hell. The doctors expressed concern about me being outpatient and that I should be in residential. Insurance gave me 5 days in IOP (3 hours a day), then 6 days in PHP (10 hours a day), then 3 days in IOP until I was discharged due to the insurance company. Needless to say, I did not get the care or tools I needed to beat an eating disorder that had been ruling my life since I was 11 years old. So I continued in therapy, went to school and work, and tried to keep my head above water. I also started a new birth control around this time which caused me to gain a crazy amount of weight in a short time. Also during this whole time, I was having flashbacks all the time especially any time that I attempted to be intimate with my ex. About 6 months later, I was feeling suicidal so I was admitted to a different psych ward. When I was discharged, I went back to therapy, school, work, and trying to keep my head about water. Last August my relationship ended, and it became harder to keep my head above water. Then last November, I caved in and started using eating disorder behaviors. Before I knew it, I lost quite a bit of weight and my mindset was the worst it's ever been. My parents encouraged me to go back to treatment. After some talking, I decided to go. This time insurance was still a pain, but since I had been there before, they were willing to give me more time. After a few months, I was discharged, and I felt ready to take on the world. I learned a ton of coping skills, what healthy portion sizes looked like, and I was even able to scrap the surface of my trama. For a few weeks, I was doing everything I was supposed to stay healthy. Well, almost everything... I felt like I was okay like I could handle this on my own since these were my problems. I didn't make a follow-up appointment with my therapist which I can now admit was a big mistake. When I got overwhelmed or triggered, I did breathing exercises until I was able to just shove it aside. Now I feel like there is so much stuff shoved into a small box; it could explode any time. That's a dangerous thing for me. (I just made an appointment with my therapist before writing this.) There are so many opportunities with jobs, schooling, relationships with others, and even my relationship with myself that I don't take a chance on, because of my PTSD. I hate it! I'm tired of it. It's been what five years, and he still has control of me. I can't watch certain things, heard certain words, talk to certain people, etc. etc. etc... Without being triggered. I think the big thing is that I haven't forgiven myself let alone him. If he could do those things to me when we were only 15 years old, what could he do now when he's grown? I blame myself for not telling anymore until years later. If I would have told someone, then maybe it could have prevented anything bad in the future happening to other girls. I go round and round in my head all day long about what-ifs. I hope that I am able to finally put some work in with my therapist about my trama. The reason that I am on this website is to look for support on this crazy, emotional journey that I'm just starting on. This is a super long post, and I apologize. Anywho, that's who I am and why I'm on this website. This took me so long to type due to emotions. Oof. I'd love to get to know some of you on this website.

I tried posting yesterday and it wouldn't take my post. Let's hope this one works. I came across 7 Cups using Google while searching for online therapy options. I'm 37 years old and I struggle with anxiety and depression and feelings of worthlessness, largely brought on by childhood psychological abuse. I only recently came to the realization that what I felt was actually depression and the reason why I am the way I am and why I do (or don't do) certain things is because of past abuse. I was in therapy from July 2018 until January 2019. It didn't help much. My counselor didn't dig that deep to the underlying causes of my emotional illness and approach the issue of family dynamics, and only really dealt with managing the symptoms and social anxiety aspect. She also said, and I quote, "sounds like you've got some depression going on" every single session. Um yeah, why do you think I'm here??? And her suggestion for how to cope with my depression and anxiety was "just go easy on yourself." Every single session. Yeah, thanks Sharon, but that's not going to help me do things like take a shower and function like a normal adult. I was paying $95/visit and wiping out my HSA for these golden nuggets of professional wisdom. I'm not on medication, but sometimes I think I should be. The idea makes me nervous, though.

My depression tends to cycle. I'll do really good for a few months, and then spiral again. I was actually doing well with managing most of my symptoms with self-care. But some recent events and ongoing family dynamic issues have been seriously triggering and making me feel like I would be better off dead. I only ever seriously contemplated ending it all during one period about six years ago, and that downward spiral was also triggered by how my family treats me. I was able to pull myself out of that rut. Amazing that even then it never dawned on me that I had depression and other issues. And family is now triggering me again. So, I'm here. The Listener I was matched up with a few days ago has been very helpful with allowing me to vent, validating my feelings, and offering practical suggestions to deal with some matters I've been struggling with. I receive little to no validation or emotional support from my parents. My brother and sister-in-law and my best friend have been very supportive, which I do appreciate, but they have their own lives and family stuff going on, too. And it's hard for me to open up and express my feelings about things. I'm "closed up tighter than a drum," as someone once told me many years ago. I do hope that having this community will be helpful.

Oh, and my favorite TV show was Game of Thrones until that weak sauce ending. I want to start Mindhunter S2 on Netflix, but maybe when I'm feeling better. I've mostly been binging comedy shows like Inside Amy Schumer and Chappelle's Show. Laughing helps, and I do love to laugh.

Hi, yall can call me Piper. Im a 15 year old girl from Australia. I love Marvel, LINKIN PARK, pretty much all 80s rock, the movie Grease, dogs and Oreos. This is my first time doing anything like this. I stumbled upon this website whilst searching for apps/sites like this one. Anyway, Ill share a little bit about my life story, Ill try to make this short. I have a half brother, he is exactly 10 years and 1 day older than me (makes my birthday such a joy *sarcasm*) and we no longer have any contact whatsoever. 13 years ago our father walked in on my half brother raping me, and it wasnt the first time something like that had happened. Numerous times, prior to him being caught, I had been red and sore in an area 2 year olds should NOT be red and sore in. Long story short, my father covered it up and emotionally and psychologically abused my mother during their entire relationship. He was and is an alcoholic, a lousy dad and an all-round bad person. I havent spoken to him for nearly 3 years or had any kind of contact. I was 12 when I found out the truth about what happened, I was halfway through puberty, struggling with my self esteem and confidence, dealing with moving an hour away from everyone I knew and was forced to pretend to be ok so that my mum didnt try to kill herself again. My mother, Aunty and grandmother all suffer from depression and anxiety. I had seen the signs in them and was concerned about whether I would take after them. Of course I hid it as to not worry my mother, Im not sure if I was actually depressed or just sad for a really long time but whatever it was, it sucked. I had thought about ending it all numerous times but I just couldnt, my mum needed me too much. Anyway, its been 3 years since I found out and a lot has happened. Turns out my long story short isnt so short, sorry. But yeah, thats me in a nutshell. Thanks for listening :)

Hi,

I have OCD, ODD, severe GAD, and who knows what else, and to top it off im asexual. Surprisingly im doing great in my academics and career interests (masters student with 2 jobs) but am struggling a bit on the personal side of life. thought id give this a try cuz what do i have to lose.

Hi, I'm Taryn.

This is my first time seeking help from outside my community of friends and family. I've lived abroad in Subsaharan Africa for going on three years, two of which were spent in a rural village. The solitude and cultural differences are beautiful and challenging. Having entered into a relationship with another American located in a different part of the country seemed like a good idea, but as our relationship has progressed I've become very dependent on this person to support my fluctuating emotions, which have more low points than high lately. I realize it's unfair to be so dependent on this person to make me happy, especially when most of our communication is over text messages. I understand in order for this to work out we both have to be able to live our separate lives and appreciate when we are able to spend time together. I have the ability to reach out to friends both in the country I stay in and back home in the U.S. However, I've fallen into a cycle of substance abuse where I take out my frustrations and feelings of loneliness on my partner, only to be guilty and ashamed afterward and constantly worried that my actions will eventually drive them away. I am seeking tactics to making myself happy with my life away from my partner so that I am able to maintain a healthy relationship, or at least be able to be emotionally stable if the relationship fails when our service abroad is completed.