Nother November Newbie

Hi ive been very depressed and unable to even want to try again but i know i have to. Im unable to except so much trauma and losses. I cant find my way to continue. I know how pathetic i sound right now, but its truely how i feel. Like ive given up. I guess im looking for any miracle of words you might send me. Im to miserable to want to be around myself and i need freinds more than ever to sort this all out. The pain needs to end and i see no way out. I offer myself and my skills, i offered to volunteer, i offered to go to church with a couple that reccomends church but they never ask so my feeling is they were only giving lip service. It seems nobody cares to look deeper to see im a very good person with a lot to offer. First impressions couldnt be more wrong about me. Im dying inside and soon, as im seeing no way out from under this.