Worst enemy is myself, URGENTLY NEED HELP

Im a fucked up mess of human garbage IM FESTERING IN A FILTHY EXISTENCE WASTING EVERY DAY IN THE DEPRAVITY OF MY OWN INSULAR SICK SOLITARY MIND DISCONNECTED FROM THE WORLD I AM SUFFOCATING SOS SOS LORD PLEASE HAVE MERCY IM DROWNING IN THE BOG STRANGLED IN THE MIRE OF MY OWN FUCKED UP DISGUSTING WRECKED LIFE URGENT I AM SICKNESS VEGETATING DETERIORATING I AM BONE DRY EMPTY HOLLOW STUFFED WITH DARKNESS I AM GROSS I HATE MYSELF AND MY UNBRIDLED PERVERSITY THE TWISTED FEVER HYPNOSIS DRUGGED OUT IN VACANT NO MANS LAND DIGGING MY DESERT GRAVE SEEKING MUTE MEANINGLESS UNSATISFYING MOMENTS OF CAREFREE ESCAPE I AM DEAD DYING LOST TRAPPED I NEED HELP URGENTLY I AM IN CRISIS IM DESTROYING MYSELF DESTROYING MY LIFE I HATE EVERYTHING SO MUCH I WISHBI WERENT ALIVE THAT THIS LIFE WERENT REAL FUCK ME AND MY GARBAGE GUTTER EXISTENCE LORD JESUS I NEED A MIRACLE SO BADLY EMERGENCY IN SEVERE NEED FAMISHED DESPERATE COMOTOSE STAGNANT AIMLESS STERILIZED ARID HOPELESS QUIET DESPAIR STIFLING TEARS FROM EYES CLOGGED BY NAKED HIDEOUS REALITY COLORLESS FUCKED UP SICKNESS ISOLATION INERTIA NONSTOP TORMENT AGONIZING RESIGNATION CONFINED IN MY OWN PUTRID COFFIN THIS LIFE IS BARREN MONOTONE LONELY SECLUDED DECAY SUFFERING IN THE SHELL OF MY DISEASED AM A DISEASE A LEPER RIDDLED IN BOILS ALL OVER A GROSS GORGON GROTESQUE DEAD CLAY DEFORMITY

LORD PLEASE HELP ME I BEG YOU