Still Carrying Feelings for Someone I Can’t Talk To Anymore

Hey purplefigggg,

Thank you for writing this so openly. What you shared is vulnerable and layered, and I just want to say it takes real courage to speak this kind of truth especially when you already feel ashamed or conflicted inside.

You’re not foolish. You’re human. Connection doesn't always play by the rules we wish it did. Sometimes feelings grow in quiet, complicated spaces, and even when we know it can't or shouldn't become something more, that doesn’t switch off the emotional impact.

That lingering look you described I believe you when you say it meant something. Sometimes, those moments are very real, but they’re not always something the other person can acknowledge out loud. Whether it’s guilt, fear, commitment, or avoidance, silence is often a shield for feelings that are too messy to confront. Still, that silence hurts. It leaves you hanging in a place where you have no closure, just question marks.

You did something brave by expressing how you felt. And yes, maybe a few messages went too far but that came from pain and honesty, not malice. You’re not a bad person for wanting clarity or connection.

The hard truth is, when someone chooses silence and distance, it’s not your job to decode it forever. It’s painful to let go of a fantasy that once felt mutual, but it’s also the only way to reclaim your peace.

You don’t have to be over it yet. You’re allowed to grieve the version of the story you carried. But also give yourself permission to stop waiting for his words to explain it. Maybe you already have your answer, and maybe that answer doesn’t define your worth it just defines the limits of what he could give.

You are not alone in this. You are not broken. And one day, the space he left will feel less like a wound and more like room to breathe.

Sending you strength and softness as you move through it.

@purplefigggg Thank you for sharing your experience and for being vulnerable. I know it can be difficult in situations like this, especially in an open space like the internet. So, I really appreciate your willingness to be open with us.

@purplefigggg

I love how you've been so open about your feelings. I can relate from both ends so your story speaks to much to me. Both the grief you go through trying to get over someone that you have a deep connection with & from his end his unspoken boundary that he put in place for it to go further.

For me I had a deep chemistry with an ex-manager turned friend after I left that job. The entire time we worked together it just felt like a strong magnet. I kept my distance because in my story I AM the married one & He is NOT. I didn't want to fan the flames of something that could go nowhere. Besides I don't like to lead people on or play with their emotions.

Fast forward after leaving the job he messaged me & confessed he had STRONG feelings, he no longer saw the need to hold back.

I was deeply flattered. I did respond in letting him know I was unavailable because I was married. He said he understood & always respected my boundaries I had set before, but stated he always felt the attraction. IT WAS VERY STRONG. We both were each other's type to a T & had really effortless conversation.

He asked if we could keep in touch. I said sure. I'm in a small niche industry so it's good to network, so I agreed. That's where things took a turn.

We kept in touch, the more we did the more the connection grew. He was very intuitive which made it easy to feel vulnerable. At the time communicating with my husband was very difficult. We have different styles of communication & it was causing some issues. I never spoke ill of my husband to him. I love my husband.

I came to a crossroads when he wanted to be intimate. That was a boundary I would not cross. I truly just loved our connection but was unwilling to do that. So I told him no, I couldn't continue that kind of relationship anymore. It broke him. That broke me.

In a world where I was unmarried I would have made a difference choice. But, I wanted to preserve my marriage, so I chose my husband. He is a good man, it's just hard to communicate at times & I love him.

When I told him we couldn't be together, he said I don't want your friendship. I WANT YOU I almost died. Hadn't heard that in awhile. It was tempting but I had to cut it. I ended up blocking him to move on. I figured If I don't know he's messaging me it'll be easier to move on & I won't message him. But it still hurts.

So if he blocked you, know that it was probably because he was at a crossroads as well but it doesn't mean it wasn't real. ❤️ You can feel a person's energy. You know when it's real.

I'm still trying to get over him. I'm very open & honest. I told my husband about it when it happened very soon after. He's forgiven me even understanding of the situation. Now I'm just trying to build up my marriage again.

But, I feel your pain. Grieving someone that's still alive I think is the hardest kind of grief.

It's actually why I'm here. I'm working through moving past this. It happened, it's a part of my story. The hardest thing for me is crying about it. Because I'm married I have no space to really let it out & ok my husband knows I'm grieving. I feel like he's giving me time, but how can I grieve over another man in his presence. That's the pain I hold.