About To Leave My Marriage

Hello, all. I am new to this community and hope that you can all be patient with me.

I am a “single” married Mom to two young kids. And for me, they are the one saving grace in my life. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, and I’m about ready to throw in the towel.

Our marriage was great in the beginning (or so I thought). My husband was having difficulty finding work, so I stepped up and took care of the bills. And even when I was pregnant AND right after giving birth, I was working online. This went on for almost a year, until my husband decided that he didn’t want to care for our newborn. He also wanted to make his own money. And that is when our relationship started to go downhill.

While I was working, I included my husband in every financial decision. And he had access to every penny that I earned. I respected his decisions when it came to money wholeheartedly. But after I became a SAHM, my husband did not return the same respect.  He started to send a TON of money to his family abroad, and when I questioned the amount sometimes, he would tell me to butt out. 

Now, fast forward to present day, my husband tells me very little about where he spends “his” money. He is very generous sometimes - especially to our kids - but to a fault. We are in debt, and any savings that we have is dwindling. His family isn’t fully aware that we are barely keeping our heads above water - or perhaps they don’t care - as long as THEIR rent, food, etc is paid.

So not only am I worrying about how our financial future looks, but my husband has discovered Tik Tok Live and spends HOURS on it every day and night. And while he barely spent quality time with me or the kids before - he doesn’t at all now. He even was on video (they couldn’t see, though) one time while trying to get intimate with me…

I’ve tried to communicate with him many times about how everything (finances, Tik Tok, talking with girls inappropriately) has made me feel, but he just says “sorry” and then tries to move on. But for me, I’m at the point where I cannot just forgive and forget. And so I’m strongly contemplating separation or divorce.