Any late bloomers in the context of relationships?

This is gonna sound unbelievable, I'm 17 going into my senior year of highschool and have never had a close friend, in elementary school they said I had a learning disability and my parents agreed to put me into the schools main sped class, while I probably did need it since for awhile I was behind academically speaking, I suspect it's what stunted my social skills to a certain extent.

Im not putting all the blame on it since I did do speech therapy from kindergarten to 9th grade (although from 3rd grade onwards it became kinda pointless) my gen ed classmates began making fun of me and ocstracizing me, then from that point onwards I had to make use of my time alone.

Up until a few years ago whenever someone would try to talk to me I'd act awkwardly and become uncomfortable because I wasn't used to the interaction, now I've become comfortable with talking to people and striking up conversations but no one reciporcates, it's gotten to the point where I don't even have the energy to interact with people because what's the point if it always ends up the same, I'm so burnout from the constant social rejection, I'm tired of feeling horrible to the point where I don't even know how I'm still alive.

I've told school counselors about this many times before and none of them ever cared, my parents are used to me having no friends and no social life, not even doctors or therapists give a ***, last time I went through a severe mental breakdown I was taken to a psych ward twice, then a "psychiatrist" who's not even a doctor that polydrugged me and made me feel 987789988x worse than I ever thought was humanely possible, my parents didn't care and have always thought forceful drugging was the solution since I was 5.

I've never been in a single relationship before, never been kissed, held hands romantically, I don't like anyone my age and never have I've always been attracted to older guys which has gotten me in a *** ton of trouble, the jobs I've had I've been let go from most of them besides one where I quit because I couldn't handle it, vocational rehab told me I was too high functioning for them to provide me with any sort of assistance.

I have a driver's license yet can't make friends or hold down a job, I feel so alone and like I'm the only one in this situation, other "autistic" women all are in long term relationships, have jobs, friends, etc so I really have no one to relate to. I daydream about being financially successful yet other people keep getting in my way and making everything so much harder for me, I'm not going to college because it's too expensive and im not traditionally smart so what's the point, I can't afford trade either and job corps is nonexistent.

I'm constantly told how stupid I am and how I'll never amount to anything because I'm not good at anything, my fine motor skills are extremely poor, same with my gross motor skills and I can't afford occupational therapy either, I also already did it when I was little and they discharged me saying I completed my goals when I was 8. I'm moving with my dad to be with my dad's side of the family after I graduate and I'm so excited. I might be able to get a job at my grandma and aunts grooming shop there if they even let me, which I think they will.

It just sucks because I know I'm intelligent but my brain and my body just don't cooperate, if my body wants to do something my brain lags out, logically I know I can't meltdown but my emotions just can't hold it in, in math I try to learn but my brain just can't remember it all and gets confused even with the simplest things, I also struggle with mopping and sweeping alongside putting my hair in a ponytail and makeup, I'm a very unattractive person so it's a huge deal that i don't wear makeup and am horrible at it, again I try to learn but my body doesn't cooperate at all.

For awhile I couldn't tie plastic bags and now I'm good at it, I still can't tie my shoes and need help tying bikini tops or shirts. I forget very simple hygienic routines such as putting on deodorant or brushing my teeth, I always lose my deodorant or everything I need the most. I don't know how to use a key and struggle immensely with it, I feel like an idiot sometimes especially with cooking. Everyone gets annoyed at me because I can't ever get it right the first time.