Moving Up the Spiral

Goal

To move away from a struggle-based life toward a vital, values-based life.

Moving Upward

Now that you have begun getting unstuck from your problems, you can more readily move up the spiral (mentioned in the introduction) toward a more vital and fulfilling life. Here are 10 strategies you can begin implementing today to help propel you upward:

Manage stress. Stress can contribute to anxious, worrisome thoughts and emotions. What are 2 or 3 things you do to help yourself feel better?This can be simple things like take a walk, listen to music, or watch a movie. If these things help, then do more of them!
Avoid harmful or negative people. You absolutely do not have to hang out with people who negatively affect you. Be aware of your emotional weather. If, in general, it is warm and sunny in your world and whenever a particular person shows up it gets stormy, then simply minimize contact with that person.
Remember that rumination and worry DO NOT work. Don’t pretend that thinking about the past or worrying about the future works. As indicated in Lesson 1, it is just like the hamster on the wheel. It feels productive, but it isn’t. It is harmful.
Problem solve rather than worry. If you are worried about a particular issue, then spell that issue out and try to problem solve it. Don’t try to avoid the pain or the negative emotion, but simply work toward solving the actual problem. You can do this by changing “what if” worries into “how can I” worries. For example, if you are thinking “What if this person ignores me?” then you can transform this into, “How can I respond to this person if they ignore me?”
Focus on what you have control over. There are 3 buckets of things in life:
- Things we can’t control
- Things we have some control over
- Things we have complete control over
Please don’t hold yourself accountable or judge yourself for things that you only have some control over or cannot control. Be kind to yourself and recognize that worrying and/or harshly judging yourself on these things is unfair and wrong. There are issues you can control and issues you cannot control. Reflect on the Serenity Prayer shown here.
Sleep! Practice good sleep hygiene. If you start worrying, then get out of bed and try to re-set your brain. Do what you would normally do before falling asleep. Watch a movie or read a book for 30 minutes to reset the going to sleep process.
Spend more time in the present. Consider this question: Where are you living? By living in the past or future, as indicated by ruminating about past events or worrying about what is yet to come, you are missing out on living in the present. Practice being present with yourself and your surroundings by paying attention to what you are doing at any given moment (e.g., eating a meal, cleaning your home, sitting at your desk at work, reading a book, driving, or watching a TV show). Then get in touch with your senses. Notice what you see, smell, touch, hear, and taste. This process of being in the present moment is referred to as mindfulness.
Carve out time to worry. Identify a time each day that you can allot to worrying. When you find yourself worrying, write down the worry in a couple of words and remind yourself that you will think about it at your designated worry time. Chances are, you will no longer feel as worried about the issue when your worry time arrives.
Become accepting of uncertainty. Uncertainty often causes anxiety due to fearing the unknown. In order to become more accepting of uncertainty, ask yourself these questions:
- Can you be certain about everything in life?
- How is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
- Is it reasonable to predict that bad things will happen as a result of uncertainty?
- How likely are positive or neutral outcomes to occur following uncertainty?
- Is it possible to live with the small chance that something bad may happen?
Use your emotions for your benefit. Emotions, although problematic at times, are a natural part of the human experience and can be used to benefit us if we’ll let them. Being able to do this effectively is based in knowing how to perceive your negative emotions. Simply viewing negative emotions as a sign that whatever is causing them needs attention results in the ability to make informed decisions.