Make Realistic Changes

Goal

To make realistic changes and accept what you cannot change.

Serenity Prayer (Zamore & Leutenberg, pp. 41-42; 44)

The Serenity Prayer, which is often used in addiction recovery programs, offers a good reminder that it’s helpful to accept the things we can’t change, to have courage to change the things we can, and to have wisdom to know the difference. There are limits on what we can control. We only have control over our own responses and reactions.

Serenity Prayer Exercise (Zamore & Leutenberg, p. 43)

Instructions: Identify the things that you can’t change (e.g., the loss). Choose one and make a conscious decision to accept it for what it is. Then, identify the things that you can change (e.g., your attitude). Choose one and determine what step(s) you can take to begin making a change. Reflect more on the Serenity Prayer by watching the following video:

Learning from Pain Exercise (Zamore & Leutenberg, p. 148)

Instructions: When someone is grieving, they frequently experience emotional pain. When you find yourself overcome by your pain, consider this reading called A Prayer for Learning from Pain:

My wounds may heal, but my scars may never fade.
Help me to embrace them, not despise them.
Teach me how to live with my scars,
        how to tend to them,
        how to learn from them.
Remind me that I have the power to turn my curses into blessings,
        my shame into pride,
        my sadness into strength,
        my pain into compassion.