Focus on the Positive
Goal
To reap the benefits of positive thinking.
Becoming more Positive (Zamore & Leutenberg, pp. 69-70)
At certain times in our lives, it is so easy to focus on the negatives and overlook what we have to be grateful for. It is widely acknowledged, however, that focusing on the positive aspects of life is beneficial. It is important to identify and appreciate your blessings and to focus on gratitude.
Gratitude Exercise (Zamore & Leutenberg, p. 70)
Instructions: At the end of each day, identify three things that you are grateful for. They could be big things like family and good health or small things like feeling the warmth of the sun.
Positive Self-Talk (Zamore & Leutenberg, pp. 91-92)
Self-talk is internal dialogue-the words we use when we talk to ourselves. Our self-talk often reflects and creates our emotional state. It can influence our self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships. Most people have a self-critical voice that talks almost non-stop. The good news is that this negative self-talk CAN be replaced by positive self-talk.
Positive Self-Talk Exercise (Zamore & Leutenberg, p. 92)
Instructions: The table below includes examples of negative and positive self-talk. Which of the examples can you relate to? Consider writing down the positive self-talk examples that resonate with you and displaying them where you’ll see them regularly.
| Negative Self-Talk | Positive Self-Talk |
|---|---|
| I am forgetting everything-I hate it! | It is OK to forget. I’m not forgetting everything! |
| I do everything wrong. | I do some things wrong. That means I do some things right. |
| I am so unsure of myself right now. | I need to remember that I do trust myself. |
| I need to be on time and never late. | Being late isn’t the end of the world. |
| I will not ask for help. It shows I’m incompetent. | It is a sign of strength to ask for help. It does not mean that I am not competent. |
| I cannot do the things I used to do. | I am doing what I can. |
| I am so tense all the time. | I have reason to be tense and I can help myself by relaxing! |
| It shows weakness if I cry. | It’s all right to cry. |
| I feel so anxious I can hardly breathe. | I can breathe deeply and let go of some of the tension. |
| I SHOULD say “yes” to every invitation. | It is OK to say “no” to some things and “yes” to others. |
| I will never ever get over it. | This is a long and slow journey and I will heal. |
| I cannot handle this. | I will survive, maybe even thrive. |
| This is impossible. | I can do it. I can do it. |
| I could have done better. | What is done is done. Now is the time to look forward and learn from what did happen. |
References
Zamore, F., & Leutenberg, E. (2008). Griefwork: Healing from loss. Duluth, MN: Whole Person Associates.
