Dealing With Attachment Anxiety
Goal
To monitor growth and progress toward secure attachment and connectedness with others.
Relationship Checklist (Narang, pp. 181-182)
The below checklist will help you evaluate the extent to which you are experiencing secure attachment and connectedness with others. It will also help you evaluate to what extent you are giving yourself the care and attention needed to maintain good relationships. If you find this checklist helpful, plan to complete it monthly. Schedule a reminder for yourself so you don’t forget.
| Item | Evaluation | Response |
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| How well are you doing at seeking love from others by being merely yourself versus being sick/wounded to elicit “help” or by being solely a “tool” to help them? If “not so good”, how will you improve in this area? |
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| How well are you doing in working to meet the needs of both others you’re in relationship with and yourself? Any room for improvement? |
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| How well are you doing at taking care of your ongoing bodily needs (e.g., sleep, meals, physical activity, etc.)? Any improvements needed? |
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| Are you noticing any medical problems while they are at mild/moderate severity, and then doing something before becoming medically unhealthy? |
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| How are you doing in taking care of your emotional health (e.g., avoiding unnecessary emotional escalation in conflicts, actively approaching vs. avoiding important relationships, ending toxic/abusive relationships, doing things you find fulfilling, etc.)? |
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| Are you noticing and caring for your emotional health before reaching the point that you are extremely distressed? |
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| How are you doing at being strong, by recognizing that you have something to give to others and being able to give it? If you are giving, what is it that you are giving? |
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| When you need support, how are you doing at asking for and receiving it? What kind of support have you asked for and received recently? |
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| What are you doing that you find extremely satisfying? If nothing, what should you now begin or resume doing? |
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Next Step
Need some ideas of what you can do that may be satisfying? Consider the activities found here:
http://www.newharbingeronline.com/excerpts/cbtWkbkPD/Chapter_4-2_Pleasurable_Activities.pdf