How to Give Effective Commands

Goal

To be able to give effective commands

Giving Effective Commands (Barkley, 2013)

Commands. I am sure this is something which all of us wish were obeyed and that we often give. Sometimes the issue is not necessarily in the command but rather in how we give the command. At first, set up periods during the day when you command your child to do simple tasks. These commands should be things which are easy for your child to do and that they are likely to do. If your child refuses to clean their room, it would be wise NOT to command them to clean their room. During these periods of giving commands, it is important to do it a few minutes a day about three times a day. Once these commands are issued, it is also critical to immediately praise your child for obeying.

There are several guidelines which are beneficial when giving commands:

1. You must mean it. This involves more than just the way you state your command. It also means that you are committed to it. Once the command is given, you must follow through with it, no matter how long it takes. This requires perseverance and patience.
2. Make sure your child is paying attention. This could mean turning off the TV or video games. It is important to make sure your child is listening or else they cannot be expected to follow through with it.
3. State the command simply. It’s important not to word the command as a question. For example, if you say, “Will you hand me the laundry?” Your child has the right to say no. You can still be polite by starting the command with ‘please’ but remember that if it is a question, your child has the option to say ‘no’.
4. Ask your child to repeat the command. This does not have to occur every time; however, it especially is helpful in the beginning.
5. If the child is old enough, make up chore cards. These can have the expectations for the child written out, which is a helpful reminder.