Step 6: Use Grandma's Rule

First you work or study, and then you play. Allowing yourself to engage in desirable and more frequent behaviors will reinforce the goal. Just avoid the child’s mistake of recklessly rushing through the goal behavior to get to the pleasurable activity. If you commit to 30 minutes of practicing the piano daily, rewarding yourself afterward with 10 minutes of playing a computer game, don’t knock five minutes off your piano practice so you can get to that reward sooner.

For another example, a client of mine was struggling to exercise consistently - some weeks she was on track, other weeks she was derailed. I asked her to think of what she truly enjoyed doing most evenings after work. She immediately answered, “Sitting and watching television for an hour or two while petting my dog, after a long day of work.” Perfect. We agreed that she would not turn on her television or more than pat her dog’s head until she exercised for at least 20 minutes. This quid pro quo worked like a charm. She rarely missed exercise because she didn’t want to miss her shows and snuggling with her lapdog. Her “not motivated” exercising soon became a daily habit. In fact, within a month, it was no longer an onerous chore but simply part of her daily life.

Think of your goal behavior. In the box below, use Grandma's Rule to combine your goal behavior with a desirable behavior to plan effectively rewarding yourself.