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How can I stop thinking about my ex?

193 Answers
Last Updated: 06/13/2020 at 10:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
lanabo
November 29th, 2014 11:44pm
I made a list of the reasons why we broke up, (things I didn't like, why we weren't compatible, things that hurt me) and countered it with things I deserve: respect, honesty, loyalty. This way you are reminded why the relationship did not work and move forward.
Azzy
January 2nd, 2015 3:42am
You surround yourself with positive atmospheres. Constantly thinking about your ex is a habit that needs to be broken. Try to find healthy outlets that will not only distract you from these thoughts but also give you a chance to find out what can actually help you if you're ever feeling like this again or upset in the future!
Anonymous
November 26th, 2014 4:50am
Keep yourself busy!! Take up a new hobby, try something you wouldn't, surround yourself with people that make you happy. Sometimes talking to someone or writing about your feelings can really help :)
anaisabel
December 22nd, 2014 11:57am
Sometimes, you just need to erase the messages, delete the number and move on. You don’t have to forget who that person was to you: You just have to accept that… they aren’t that person anymore.
Brittneym101
October 13th, 2015 2:11pm
Well, honestly no matter what you do what you say to convince yourself to stop thinking about your ex partner, you may not ever forget about them. It may not be meant for you to forget about them if that even makes sense. Sometimes you just have to let he/she come off of your mind naturally. You probably won't ever permanently erase them from your memory. I can tell you to moveon, but that doesn't mean that you will do it. It doesn't work like that. I can tell you let go and I can tell you how I would try to forget about your ex, but it's all about what's in your heart and what you're willing to do. If you know and feel that you can't moveon from this person and people don't understand where you're coming from with the situation or why you still feel for this person, it doesn't matter. If you accept your feelings then it becomes ok I feel like, regardless of what the ex thinks. One thing that I have learned in all my years of living is that you can't tell someone how to feel. All of you that are having issues with this I wish you Luck!! :)
HelpingGabby
January 4th, 2015 9:40am
Take however long you need to move on, and talk to someone you trust about what happened and how you feel
Greatlistener87
January 19th, 2016 3:52am
Always remember on why this person is your ex in the 1st place and where you stand in his life. Figure if its worth your time and effort to think about him/her.
Anonymous
September 21st, 2016 2:17am
First delete all the pictures, text, emails, social media accounts. Second, ask your friends not to talk to you about him anymore. Finally, write down all the things that he was bad at :) and keep revisiting that list. Take your time and do not rush the process!!
Oval
December 30th, 2016 9:42pm
The truth is it's different for everyone. It all depends. Some people find it comforting to surround themselves with family and friends- who can provide the distraction of fun and emotional support you might be needing. Others might prefer to clean out everything and anything that relates to their ex. (pictures, sweaters, etc.) Make sure to think about it thoroughly before throwing anything out. Some people just need time to move on, and that's perfectly fine too.
Wilnekay12
January 13th, 2018 6:57am
Do things that'll make you happy yes you can reminisce about the good times and how things were but he/she wasn't for you even if you wanted them to be
ComplexxHeartt
November 26th, 2014 1:47am
Try keeping yourself busy by doing hobbies you enjoy. Or go out with friends to forget about things.
nikkigiveslove
June 8th, 2018 7:33am
There are a few things to help stop thinking about your ex. But then again, it also depends on the relationship. If you see them almost daily or constantly, make sure they have some closure so the following things won’t hurt as much to them. 1. Delete every picture of them 2. Unfollow or block them on social media 3. Self care- compliment yourself daily, go out with friends, read a book, go on vacation, think about seeing other people 4. Like 3, make sure that you know your worth.
Raspberrycheesecake
June 13th, 2018 11:01am
This can be very hard. It would be an easy answer for me to say, don't think about him, but its harder than that! You need to understand why you broke up and why he is your ex for a reason. After that, you can build closure and slowly start to think about him less. You will never not think about him, because those are memories and with your next relationship, you might need those to help you through. For example, remembering that the restaurant you went to with your ex didn't serve nice food etc.
brightminds
July 26th, 2018 5:29am
its okay to think about your ex, time will actually heal your broken heart. but a quicker way to get over him will take quite effort, don't look at pictures that will remind you him/her. try to do things to keep you distracted. and accept the fact that you guys broke up
cassper
August 8th, 2019 3:13pm
I don’t think you can make yourself stop thinking about your ex - I think you just need to give yourself time, be patient with yourself and let yourself feel whatever you need to - for a period of time, anyway. Eventually, you can practice acceptance. The key here, I think, is to not try and force yourself to stop thinking about them. The more you push against the thoughts, the more you’re feeding them. I find that the best solution is to let the thoughts come and go as they please, and one day, the thoughts just won’t come anymore. They have no reason to.
Yougotmyback
March 22nd, 2020 4:13am
Some times we build walls to keep the sadness away but we forget that those same walls keep happiness way too. Let happiness enter your life. Do good, work on yourself. Don't keep grudges as everything is temporary. At least that person made you happy for a while. Learn to be happy with yourself. Hibernate, hydrate, heal. Don't be too hard on yourself. Enjoy the little things you get & believe in yourself. Go out, eat properly, exercise, do things your way. You are free! Ukiyo - Floating life! Hope this helps. Sending lots of love & free hugs to all! :)
Anonymous
April 17th, 2020 11:37am
Think what made you and your ex for the breakup. Think what fault of your ex did you stop being with your ex. Think how bad your ex treated you that hurt you badly and made that person your ex. Then why your ex didn't try to save your relationship. Then why your ex accepts he or she failed to correct you if you have your mistake. Then why he or she accept that you can't be with him or her. Think which action from your ex always made you furious. I hope you'll find enough reason to hate your ex now and won't think about your ex.
blissfulSpace6911
May 29th, 2020 8:21am
It is very natural to miss your ex. Sometimes you miss your ex because of who they are, or how they made you feel. Either be the case, don't forget why you both are no more together. Things that are over, are over was a solid reason. There can be no going back at times. Universe sends people in our life to teach us something. Every relationship makes you more aware of yourself. It is for your upgradation. Thus, when relationships end, it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the world, instead, just a small part of your world. Humans often mistakenly see their partners as their 'WHOLE world' rather than a 'part' of your world. Universe sends people to us and also takes them away when your learning is done. Leave it up on the universe. And NO, rebound love is never a good option. Instead it makes things worse by leaving us feeling more lonely in the end and the thirst for a relationship never ends. Trust the process and learn from the relationships. :)
Anonymous
November 26th, 2014 8:50am
Well? You really gotta give yourself some time really, if you try hard to shut them out of your mind, it could backfire and make you more upset. Why dont you let the thoughts come and the feelings come and allow them to flow through and get processed, that gives you a chance to actually heal.
NataliaTheBrave
November 27th, 2014 9:13pm
The best way, is to stop, and really take time for yourself. do things that he/she normally never wanted to do. Like go, and see that movie they didn't want to see, or go and take a girls night out, or guys night out with your buddies/girlfriends, and re-connect! The more you focus on either family, or yourself, the less important the ex will seem.
RavingSkittles
December 4th, 2014 9:10am
you will it will just take time. i know it seems like itll never come and that its just going to keep hurting you but it will get better.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2014 5:07pm
You need to stop thinking him, eat some ice-cream, have a girl's night, or if you're a guy, do something else with your friends. Just make sure you always have something/someone else on your mind.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2014 2:33pm
By keeping your mind active on other things. If you are socially and mentally active, there will be less time to think of your ex
JustBreatheLikeKat
April 15th, 2015 6:51am
If you have anything of theirs, get rid of it! Pictures, clothes, anything that has a memory of your ex.
OceanLove60
April 17th, 2015 1:32am
It is a choice to think about them. Need to figure out what it is that you desire from the relationship and let it go and choose to let it go. It is the attachment to something that causes the suffering. Free your self
Chokeli
May 14th, 2015 9:25pm
Involve yourself in other activities. Probably spend more time with your current love. The heart of a human being is like a container. it needs to be filled all the time. If you are with someone else , you will forget the x.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2015 6:29am
Just remember that everything happens for a reason and if it were meant to be, it would still be. The one will come!
YourSisterSummer
June 5th, 2015 12:20am
Distracting negative thoughts is key. Perhaps make a list of things you like or would like to do and when youre feeling down you can choose an activity. Look forward to the future, maybe you can set yourself some personal goals to work towards. It is also true that having a support system such as friends, family or even a professional to chat to or just hang out with is immensely beneficial.
lovelyLynx18
June 17th, 2015 4:53am
The best way would be to keep busy. Clean the house, go out with friends, or just watch movies or T.V shows.
humanspirit411
June 18th, 2015 1:20pm
Make yourself busy. Love yourself more. Do something you've always wanted to do (any kind of activity). Surround yourself with people who love you and bring the best in you.