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What do I do if I love 2 people at once?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 01/22/2022 at 1:57pm
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United States
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Marriage & Family Therapist

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Top Rated Answers
June 11th, 2016 10:10pm
Take a break from both and deconstruct your feelings - why did you fall for the second person while with the first? Who do you trust more, and who do you believe will respect you?
November 9th, 2017 7:00pm
go for the second person because you wouldn't have fallen for the second one if you were in love with the first one
August 28th, 2016 12:58am
In my opinion, If you have feelings for 2 people at the same time then you should try and focus on yourself and how you feel. Sometimes if you are too choose one person over the other you may feel a sense of guilt or wonder was it the correct decision? This can become quite stressful and sometimes can make you feel negative about yourself. To avoid this, I think it would be a good idea to not get into a relationship with either person and focus on why you feel this way. Is it simply because you have feelings for both people? Or is there something deeper such as you seek love from people to feel better about yourself. If I was in that situation I would try and reflect on myself and how I am feeling.
June 12th, 2016 9:20am
i dont think then that we can call this LOVE,love is meant to be for the right man or woman,Our mr or ms right. but if you feel that for 2 persons it means that you are confused about your emotions
February 17th, 2018 4:44am
This has happened to me before, I just spent time with both of them and over time I realized who's company I enjoyed more
June 16th, 2016 9:14am
The second person with whom you had fallen in love with.. from these two.. is the one you love more. because you have love the first person more then you'd not able to fall in love with the second person.. i don't know if its true in your case.. but you could try to compare both of them.. and be with one who makes you more happy.. #goodluck.
June 13th, 2016 4:00am
People love their mothers, and their fathers, their sisters, and their brothers. Nobody questions this, because it's understood that love fills whatever space it happens to be in. People get married and divorced, and spouses die. Nobody questions this, because love fills whatever space it happens to be in. Loving more than one person is *common*, but loving two people in a romantic way still isn't socially accepted yet. So you have to be very sure that's what's happening before you dig into it. If you're sure that the feelings you have are motivated by love, I'd invite you to do some reading on polyamory and open relationships. Non-monogamy, like monogamous relationships, only work if everybody is honest and communicates. When that honesty and communication is present, there's no reason why monogamy has to be assumed. You should talk with your partner(s) honestly about your feelings, once you've sorted them out.
October 17th, 2016 9:47am
There's this famous quote:- "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one."
June 1st, 2018 6:49am
If you mean like bf/gf love than, that’s easy. If you really loved the first one you wouldn’t love the second one. If I were you I would pick the second one because it would hurt both of you less. The first person must’ve been there for you everytime. You might think you love that person but they may just be a routine.
July 17th, 2016 6:54am
The heart will know where you should be. Love is a natural, inherent part of our nature. I feel we have the capacity to love many at one time. Ask yourself, does this person speak to and identify with your truest version of yourself? Do they support you lovingly and kindly? Do they encourage you? Do they allow you the freedom to be yourself? Only you can answer who is the "right" one for you. Be loving, open and honest and things will unfold perfectly.
July 15th, 2017 6:24pm
You already have the answer in mind. The best advice I can give is to get real with yourself. Our priority in life will always be to be the best version of ourselves in life. This means being strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. That strength is what helps you make decisions that best suits your life. Find the one that will give you that strength. Love the one that loves you best.
July 28th, 2017 4:14pm
I clearly recall seeing a recycled internet quote that said something along the lines of "If you're ever in love with two people at once, choose the second because if you truly loved the first you wouldn't have noticed the second" but I promise you that this is absolutely not the advice you should be taking. Sit down and try to sort out your feelings for each one. Is your "love" for both romantic? Do you feel a friendly connection with one that may be mistaken for love? Are these feelings of lust that were quickly created and felt? Write down the way you feel about each. Consider their feelings for you. Good luck on your journey to decipher what your feelings truly mean!
July 6th, 2016 8:58am
Choose the second person, because if the first was meant to be then you wouldn't have fallen for the second.
January 27th, 2018 4:55am
I say lay out the pros and cons of both people. Pick the one that makes you feel happy and brings positive changes to your life.
July 2nd, 2016 4:14am
Loving two people at once can be tricky. First, you should understand both these people have a heart. In the end either your choosing one or you ending both. Either way you can't lead on both because you will break both hearts in the end. Everything you do in the dark comes to the light. Try making a list for both people of reasons to stay and reasons to leave. Analyze more about each person and weather you can truly see a future with this person. Maybe even try asking them question involving the future question that normally would come up. I hope this could help a little. I mean you always have a listener willing to help with heart when or if you decide to end it with one of them or both. Good luck.
July 9th, 2016 12:47am
Tell them! Honesty is always the best policy! You can always figure some way to make things work. You have to be true to yourself!
September 2nd, 2016 1:27pm
Be honest about it. Respect everyone involved and understand that they deserve to know the truth. Explain to them in the clearest and nicest way you can.
August 8th, 2018 10:35am
it isn’t possible to love two people at once, you must have fallen in love with one person first, then the second after. However, if you loved the first person, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else. Therefore, you only truly love the second person. When I thought I loved two people, I went for the second person and I’ve never been happier!
July 14th, 2016 6:44pm
I try to give myself some space from them both so I can really connect with myself and work out my feelings. You never should want to lead two people on because it's not fair to them.
September 1st, 2016 6:46am
First of all, dont do anything before knowing for sure which one you trully love. Secondly, just let things go normally, you'll see that you have more feelings for one than for the other, just give time to time.
May 19th, 2019 9:14am
Loving 2 or even more than 2 people at once is not uncommon. It's not shameful, in fact it's something to be proud of in a way, it shows you are a very loving person. But you must also accept it comes with some difficulties. You are in a position where you might end up hurting one or more of the involved people. You need to evaluate whether this love you feel is going to be good for you or the other people involved. It may be that the best thing to do is to walk away altogether, no matter how hard that might be. Having to choose could be incredibly painful, unless the choice is clear to you. But if you do decide to choose, make sure you never betray the trust put in you by them, if they decide to choose you too.
June 12th, 2016 7:42pm
See whom you love more. Go out with both of them and observe who makes you more happy, with whom you feel in the moment like there is no where else you'd rather want to be. You don't need a break from love. And when you find the one. You'll know because everyday after that will seem like a vacation.
June 15th, 2016 4:31am
Normally you can't really be in love with 2 people at a time, this is because you will be too busy loving that one person to be falling for some1 else. So the question is who are you really in love with and who do you have a crush/attraction too.
July 1st, 2016 1:07pm
Figure out if you want to be in a relationship or not. Then leave it to time, things will get clear soon enough. Dont lead them on. and dont take any action until you are clear who you love
June 30th, 2017 1:19am
it happens. but if you love two people at the same time, I believe you can't love them at the degree. You must hear your heart out to see if who really means more to you.
October 19th, 2016 1:50am
If you love two people at one, you must consider why you loved the first person in the first place. It may mean you never did.
June 15th, 2016 7:27pm
According to many scientists, humans are designed to have more than one partner, so it is normal for you to have these feelings.
July 20th, 2016 9:27pm
You should really pick any one of them whom you feel like you will be happy with and whom you think will make you happy... But for a long term.
December 10th, 2016 8:39pm
If you love two people at once, see what's different about them. Maybe the pros and the cons of each person and how they make you feel inside. If one person makes you feel better than the other person than go with the person that makes you feel the best.
November 16th, 2017 11:01pm
If you would have really love the first one, there wouldn't be place or time in your heart and mind for the second one!