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What's the easiest way to break up with someone?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2021 at 10:26pm
What's the easiest way to break up with someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
raquelmonteiro
September 19th, 2014 7:01pm
Never blame them. You're gonna break up with them, so don't make them feel like a failure. Try to talk to them calmly. And don't rush it, take it slow, and try to make the other person understand your reasons. And hers as well.
amiableAmy
May 13th, 2015 5:44pm
There are easy ways to break up with someone & then there are good ways to break up with someone. Obviously there's not really such a thing as a "good" breakup; it's typically a difficult & emotional event for both parties. "Easy" ways to break up with someone are anything non-confrontational: through text, a letter, going no-contact, changing your relationship status on facebook & hoping they get the message. While these may be easier on the breakup initiator, they ultimately will be more unfair & hurtful to the person being broken up with. The "good" way to break up with someone you care about & respect is to have a private conversation with them, one-on-one, face-to-face. Talk about yourself - why this relationship doesn't work for you. Putting anything on them may encourage them to bargain with you & say they'll change those behaviors. Have an exit strategy & a plan for after, go for coffee or a walk by yourself after. Stay strong, if you know you no longer want to be in this relationship, stick to your guns, speak with confidence & finality. It won't necessarily be easy, but it will be the ending your relationship (hopefully) deserves.
simmi1612
October 28th, 2014 10:31am
Tell them whats wrong with your relationship,discuss with them the problem. If you cant find an end to it you can tell them you are not satisfied.
Thegreenarrow
June 25th, 2017 7:12am
Prepare it in 3 phases. Phase 1. Show signs that your relationship isn't working out and ask him/her to try to make it work Phase 2. Tell the person that it's almost too late to save the relationship as they didn't do anything to help the relationship thrive after phase 1. Phase 3. If they still don't make any effort, break the news to them, which by now they are prepared to receive. Tell them what went wrong and that there is no point in continuing the relationship or making up later as you already have 2 chances for it. This way there is minimal damage on both sides. And no shocks or begging will ensue.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2017 3:08am
Tell them the truth even if it hurts that's the least you could do for the both of you. Avoiding it will only make the situation worse and you will began to resent the relationship as well as your partner by staying in a relationship you do not want you are basically giving your partner the impression that you are still interested that there is hope when there isn't that wouldn't be fair to either of you. So, telling them how you feel even if it does hurt the both of you would be the best thing to do.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2017 6:52am
Simply put, in my mind there is no easy way to break up with someone. The process is hard, but if this is something you're sure of then you have to go for it. It's better to feel the sting of a broken heart than live a dull life with someone you're no longer interested in--but that's my humble opinion. Besides, if you're thinking about breaking up with someone than there's something in the relationship that's not working. When approaching the breakup, you have to stand firm in what you want and speak the truth. Don't try to beat around the bush or dilly dally about it.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2014 1:07am
Confront him/her that is not working anymore. well if thats love its comes so much at high a cost.
listeningtoyou
October 25th, 2014 1:34pm
Talk with them. If you can talk about it, you can explain the why. Your boy/girlfriend will understand (better) and you can still be friends if you want.
originalLove71
February 28th, 2018 2:36pm
Having a conversation with them directly about why you think it's better to break up and the real reason behind it. Doing it without talking anything by just a text makes it very hard to move on. If you're going to say goodbye then already have the courage to say it openly.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2014 10:18am
The easiest way is to tell them that you feel that way. Things are not working out and try to explain what is the reason. Try it! It is really easy.
Dinomight
September 30th, 2014 3:49am
Talk to them about the situation comuncation is key try to break it off on good terms and let them know what lead them to their decision.
Waltzzzz
July 1st, 2018 4:49am
The Best way is stay true to yourself... if its really painful and its really not working anymore, explain your side and talk about the things that didnt work out.. its better when you both know what lacks with your relationship :) its basically true to what you feel whether its good to continue or not to continue
Missingperiodsandcommas
June 27th, 2018 8:43pm
Be honest. There's no pretty way to let someone down but prolonging the relationship when it's one sided isn't good either- don't waste their time as well as your own. Be kind, explain your reasons and let them know that you enjoyed what you had but need to move on.
Akshita0612
January 8th, 2018 1:41pm
There is no easy way to breakup with someone. The most important thing which I feel is giving a closure if you are breaking up with anyone don't keep them hanging, talk to them and tell them the reason behind your action
Anonymous
December 24th, 2017 5:48pm
I would say that you first make up your mind that you are breaking up. After that sit together with him/her and tell it in a straight manner that you are breaking up with him/her. Then do explain the reasons that made you do the breakup. As its important to make him/her understand the reason for you being opting out of a relationship with them. And after that its up-to you to be friends with them or having no contact. I would also suggest you that don’t just announce the breakup on a phone or text as it would just make it more painful for them.
ASilentObserver
July 26th, 2017 7:13am
The key to easily break up with someone is to be decisive and get to the point. Instead of sugar coating the things, better to say it straightaway to the person. Suppose, if your partner not prioritizing you and you feel frustrated and want to break up, you probably could say that, "When you choose others over our relation, it frustrates me and I can't bear it anymore." So, be simple, straight and to the point.
WhenTheTimeComes
July 15th, 2017 10:24am
What is the easiest way to break up with someone is also the most respectful : being direct, honest and understanding of the other's reactions.
sereneSunshine20
February 5th, 2016 6:10pm
Be straightforward about it, and do it in person if that is possible. Break ups are not easy for either party, but the best way to go about it is to be honest , pick a private place (or a little less private if the person could get violent), and make it clear that it is over, hope this helps, Good Luck!
Daniela95
February 3rd, 2016 2:38am
It's best to be honest. They might not like it at first but after some time they will learn to apreciate your honesty.
carefreePerspective39
January 24th, 2016 9:50am
When it comes to break up it is never easy. I'm sure you think about it for long time before you decide something. I think honest talk with your partner is the most fair way to end up relationship.
funnyEnergy38
March 29th, 2015 1:20pm
In my opinion never cheat in a relationship, when you want to finish a relationship do convey very gently to the next person to whom you are with and make clear to that person why and due to what reason you want to get separated. No way is easy to break up but you can make it in a friendly and supportive way by discussing each disturbing thought etc you have about that person or relationship. No doubt it would be hurting but you can finish it in a supportive way. By this that would be less hurting. Never ever degrade someone or make him/her fell inferior just make him clear things wouldn't work more so we should get break up. You are worthy and important to you so take very good care of yourself.
Kathrine101
November 3rd, 2014 10:26am
The easiest way? There, in all honesty here, is no easy way to breakup with someone. There will be a heartbreak, there will be tears and there will always be wonders if they were not good enough. The best thing you can do is be honest with that person and tell them.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2014 5:17pm
The best way is to confront them face to face, just tell them how you feel and why you are breaking up.
VDellW12
November 11th, 2014 1:51am
By telling them how you truly feel, be empathetic. But be very clear that the relationship is over. Avoid placing blame.
AllieElisabeth
October 27th, 2014 2:25am
I think the easiest way is rarely the best way. True intimacy and caring for another person is uncomfortable
HugsNPugs3
April 26th, 2018 9:07pm
You be honest and loyal to them but in a gentle manner and even though it might be very hard the best way to break up with them is in person and be as gentle as possible and afterwards try to hang out as friends
HarleysApricot
April 26th, 2018 12:36am
Be honest and compassionate with them! Put yourself in their shoes and Relay your feeling how you want someone to relay a message to you.
BrittanySandlin
May 2nd, 2018 10:36pm
Be honest with them. Let them know the reasons why you feel however you do. If you've already given them chances to take care of the problems and feelings you have & they haven't. They will understand. Your happiness comes before anyone else's.
Jonathan1va
May 9th, 2018 8:11pm
There's no easy way to break up with someone, and I doubt there will ever be one. If you're referring to the most "non affecting way" you can break up with someone, I'd say that it's by text. You should always meet up with the person and tell them the truth, loud and clearly.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2018 8:03pm
Be honest and be upfront with them. tell them the way you fell so that they see that you are serious about the break up