I hate my family and want to move out right when I turn 18... is that okay?
189 Answers
Last Updated: 08/24/2020 at 12:22pm
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Elaine Kish, LMSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 15th, 2014 1:11am
At the age of 18 you are a legal adult and are capable of making decisions that you feel is right for you. If you feel like you need to move away when you turn 18 than the choice is totally there for you.
I think that what you feel about your family has not to be questioned, what you feel is what you feel and that is absolutely all right. It is only a guess but I suppose that if you hate your family and consider moving out as soon as possible it means that you don't want or just can't share with your family in any way about what makes you feel so bad. Therefore, if you feel the need to move out as soon as you turn 18 and if you can afford it (money, supportive friends, etc.), I really think that you have the right to be glad to do so, no regret, no shame, no guilt.
Of course that's okay. First though, make sure you have some form of safety-net (like a close friend/family member willing to take you in if rent falls out). Also be sure of why you're doing this. Is your family abusive? Make sure you talk to a therapist or counsellor about your family issues and see if you can get help.
Absolutely! Not everybody gets along with their families(I know I don't) and it's nothing to be ashamed about! Any relationship you have should be based in a mutual love and respect for one another and if your relationship with your family is a bad one, there is no need to push for things that aren't there, you know?
Anonymous
October 30th, 2014 12:48am
It's okay to feel hostility towards your family, I definitely did when I lived at home. The best thing to do is to focus on making yourself happy and building towards a positive future where you can support yourself when you do move out
That is totally understandable! My parents also put me through hell and i would move out. But imagine if you were gone, think about how they would feel. If you think they wouldn't care then pursue it. However, if you have the slightest doubt then rethink everything.
running from and not facing your problems and feeling is never the answer , the act of running is like when your room is in chaos , you don't get it organized !!! you go find a new house to live in !!
Speaking as someone who does not know about what you have gone through and your family, I feel like this question should be directed towards yourself. What made you hate your family? Why is it that you want to move out? Is there anything you can do to change these reasons? Self-reflecting is a great way to see what you want. I think it is completely okay to move out, but just make sure you know what you are going to be getting yourself in to, first.
yes. if you can take care of your basic needs (food, clothes, housing) then do what makes you happy.
It's perfectly ok if you don't like you family. Not all families are great, not all parents are good at parenting. Moving out and find your place in the world is your right
I used to be like that too. My family and I don't get along as much. I told myself that I would move out when I turn 18. But before I turned 18, I learned that my family will be here for me no matter what, and that we can't survive without them, especially if we're still young.
As long as you feel comfortable moving out when you're 18 and you're sure it's whats best, there is nothing wrong with that. But moving out can be a massive step even when you don't get on with your family, so you shouldn't be afraid to really explore the details of it
I think it's okay to want to move out when you turn 18, but I also think it's important to try to find a way to be happy with your situation and to not just be waiting until the moment you turn 18.
Anonymous
December 13th, 2015 1:04am
I think that's okay. Your emotional, physical, and spiritual health is the most important and if you feel your family isn't contributing to that then get away. Just make sure that wherever you end up won't be just as detrimental to your health! A lot of time people believe that just because you're family you should automatically feel a certain way towards them and feel some sort of loyalty but that's not necessary. It's okay to feel the way you feel because your feelings are valid. I do believe that when you're ready you should have a conversation with them about it!
Anonymous
October 30th, 2014 10:16pm
Is it absolutely fine to want your own space and to be away, and at 18 you have every right to do so. But keeping in contact with your family at least partially is also important, unless they cause you too much pain.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2014 10:06pm
It is fine to move out when you turn 18. But in the long run your future emotional well being will greatly benefit greatly if you can part ways with your family under amicable circumstances.
You're the only one who can know that for sure, but if you do think it's the best thing for you to do, there are plenty of resources to help young people who are on their own. I have a few friends who did, but they were all very extreme situations. If you're unsure, it is ok to seek help, and any professional will keep your interactions private. If you're in school and trust your counselor, you could talk to them, or any third-party adult who might know the situation better or help you find more professional help if you feel it would help.
That is perfectly acceptable if you feel its what you must do, I left when I turned 18 traveled the united states and was made better for it, but if you do leave just make sure you have a safe place for you to stay and have a plan A, B , and C.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 10:39am
You hate your family and want to move out? You're family's only going to be there for you when no one else is.
I personally think that maybe you should confront your problems because in life it's good to have family.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 12:00am
That is completely okay. Just make sure that you have enough means to do so and that you have a place to live. In the end just do what is best for you.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 8:30am
As long as you are earning your own income and are able to look after yourself it should be fine, afterall you are technically an adult now.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 3:26am
Absolutely! when you turn 18 you're considered and adult, and can move out and anything you basically want to. It's also okay for you to feel this why for your family. However, they are family. You should try to get along with them.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 5:09pm
I understand hating your family- whatever reason it is, you need to do what makes you happy. If you can reasonably move out and have the financial means to take care of yourself and make a living, then that's okay. Make sure you're doing everything you need to to take care of yourself and stay safe and healthy.
Just because you're related to someone, doesn't mean you have to like them. You can like someone and still dislike being around them too. Just make sure you're prepared to move out and can support yourself when you turn 18
It's never ok to feel as if you are trapped and hate your family. Moving out when you turn 18 is perfectly fine. It is important to have a plan when you decide to move out.
It's always important to understand why you "hate" your family. Of course there are good reasons, but it could just be that you are having a bad day. It's always important to reevaluate your decisions (especially large ones) before making them by talking to someone. If you really feel that it's what's best for you, tell a friend or someone on 7 cups and get their ideas about the situation. If it's truly best then make sure you plan ahead.
That's completely okay! Moving out after becoming a legal adult isn't as uncommon as one would think and I know many people who have and live much better lives. It all depends on your relationship with your family, but if you feel like you'd be happier that way by all means do so!
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 12:40am
It's your life and your choices. If you feel ready to leave the nest, go for it! As long as you feel like it's the right decision for you, both mentally and physically. Make sure you can sustain yourself so you don't end up in a really bad situation right away.
Yeah I think that is okay, only you truly know what living with your family is like. It's important not to make any hasty decisions though, plan with your best interests in mind. You never know, you might get on better with them when there is more distance between you, depending on the circumstances.
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