Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to know if your gay or bi or pan?

1 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 5:07am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
tattooedSunshine
July 20th, 2020 5:07am
Well, from my own experience, I struggled to figure out my sexual identity starting in fourth grade. I could feel this attraction to boys but I also caught myself staring at girls as well. It was hard to understand without any people like me to help so I did my research. I dug through the internet to look up things, I asked around in forums and around middle school, I even searched porn to figure out what I was attracted to. I experimented with my feelings, joined the LGBTQ club in school and found a support group. It was finally at the beginning of high school when I figured out I was Pansexual/Queer (I use the terms interchangeably). The biggest thing I can tell you is sexuality is not a straight line or even a circle; it's an entire spectrum. The only way to find out is to question. Take your time to explore, research everywhere (books, internet, ask questions, media), and understand that you don't need to "label" yourself with something. I say I'm pansexual because I am sexually attracted to all genders (cisgender males/females, trans men/women, nonbinary, genderqueer, etc.) but I also use the term Queer as an umbrella term since my sexuality shifts. I hope my advice helps you.
Talk to an expert therapist
I have been very fortunate to be with Hope Haddings, MSW, LCSW. In all my years, I have never had someone so wonderfully fantastic at their job, who pays great attention to what is communicated to her, and in turn, gives back such great therapeutic advice, guidance, challenges. Hope is the best therapist I have ever encountered. She has given me hope in life, hope in fixing some long term problems I have had and so, so much more. I am glad that I found the star, so to be able to leave some feedback today. AM
Reviewed Apr 10, 2021