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I have social anxiety and tend to avoid communicating . So many people misunderstand and dislike me . What do I do? I find it challenging to express myself.

4 Answers
Last Updated: 05/20/2023 at 9:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
DaisyDaph
October 27th, 2020 3:17pm
Social Anxiety is difficult to deal with because it affects one of our main means of communication. It would be hard to convey that you are not good with being social because of your anxiety and the behaviour that you exhibit might be misunderstood by people and cause some to dislike you because they might for example think you're being proud or closed off. However, it would help to first talk to people you're comfortable talking to. Even better if you can discuss your social anxiety with them. As you speak to people you're comfortable with, it might help you get the hang of socialising.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2020 9:10am
This is a really good question. Something that has helped me when I need to communicate, is to laugh a little and just admit to the person "I get really anxious talking to people." When it is genuine, people are more forgiving/accommodating and this makes you more likeable. If you ever get stuck with what to say, people generally LOVE talking about themselves-ask them a question while you regulate your anxiety. *Side note on you feeling like people dislike you: I have never in my life met a person I did not like. Best of luck! Thank you!
Anonymous
February 1st, 2022 6:19pm
I totally understand. I often feel misunderstood and disliked too. I have to look at the whole situation, and ask myself if others are really thinking those things, or if I am thinking those things. I find if I hang out with those that understand me, that I feel more accepted even when I don'[t communicate much. It is a hard balance to find. I find that I tend to listen more than I talk. I tell myself that I am worth something and my opinion matters to others. I have found confidence in myself and this seems to help me not worry about what others think.
GoldenRuleJG
May 20th, 2023 9:13pm
This sounds like a really painful thought to have. You mention so many people misunderstand and dislike you - is this something they have personally said or something you feel you are picking up from their non-verbal communication? It maybe good to think of the origins of where your fear of how others perceive you or group/social situations come from? What does expressing yourself mean and what sensations to you experience physiologically (e.g. shaking, stuttering, facial twitches, avoidance or lack of eye-contact, closed body language, avoidance or feeling like you are uncomfortable with pauses in social situations , not knowing when it’s your turn to talk/not talk). Please know that you are not the only one going through this. According to the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) Social Anxiety affects 15 million American adults. You are welcome to seek support on our 7 cups site where you can talk 1-1 with one of our listeners or a therapist. There are also member support rooms where you can meet others struggling with their mental health and feel a sense of togetherness sharing your experiences. Other alternatives can also include reflecting on whether you would like any professional therapy face to face (e.g. Group based therapy to help you face your fears, Cognitive Behavioral therapy to reframe negative thoughts). It’s understandable that therapy is expensive but you might want to also ask yourself if any medication would help (What would you want to target - the emotions or the physical symptoms?) in your discussion with your general practitioner or doctor.