How does someone be okay after realizing they have gone through a traumatic experience?

I would say that this is different for all people. For me personally it took a lot of time, reflection, some professional therapy, learning healthy boundaries and always keeping in mind that not everyone or every situation that seems similar will have a traumatic experience attached to it. For me, it was a process and I had to remember to be kind to myself and not measure my progress up against anything I saw someone else doing or saying or how they seemed to be doing overall. Surrounding myself with positive people and positive support was key.