Learning to Relax

Goal

To decrease stress and improve sleep through relaxation

Importance of Rest & Relaxation (Turk & Winter, pp. 51-57)

Stress can interfere with getting adequate rest and a good night’s sleep. Relaxation goes a long way towards reducing stress and feeling more energetic. Here are some ways to know whether or not you’re overstressed:

1. You want to do many things at the same time
2. You consistently want to do more than you are capable of
3. You want to do nothing at all
4. You attempt to take control of things that are not in your control (e.g., other people, places, events)

Stress and these symptoms of stress take energy away from you. Think of energy like you think of money. When the expenses are higher than the income, sooner or later you’ll be in financial trouble. When your body uses up more energy than it produces, you will feel physically and emotionally bankrupt.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing can be a highly effective relaxation strategy. In order to do it properly, it is important to breathe from your diaphragm (abdomen) rather than from your chest muscles. It takes practice to learn how to breathe properly. Video 1 introduces diaphragmatic breathing and begins a 3-part training on how to do it properly. The videos teach you how to do diaphragmatic breathing in 5 different positions to help you master the technique. Practice diaphragmatic breathing for at least 4 minutes before expecting a decrease in anxiety.

Video 1:

Video 2:

Video 3:

Diaphragmatic Breathing Exercise

Instructions: Watch Video 1 and spend 3-5 minutes breathing from your diaphragm while on your back and 3-5 minutes while on your stomach. Watch Video 2 and spend 3-5 minutes breathing from your diaphragm while on your hands and knees and 3-5 minutes while kneeling. Watch Video 3 and spend 3-5 minutes breathing from your diaphragm while half kneeling. Be sure to take nice and relaxed breaths while completing this exercise.

Deep Muscle Relaxation (Martin & Pear, 2002, pp. 382-383)

Deep muscle relaxation is an additional form of relaxation and consists of relaxing all of your muscles completely and to recognize when they are relaxed. This is done by alternately tensing and relaxing your muscles while attending closely to the internal activities and sensations you are feeling at the time.

In order to learn how to do deep muscle relaxation effectively, it is helpful to have someone with a soothing voice read a muscle relaxation script to you. Record them reading the script so you will always have it. Alternatively, use a pre-recorded script that can be found online, such as:

Script: Listen closely to these instructions. They will help you to increase your ability to relax. Each time I pause, continue doing what you were doing before the pause. Now, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths (pause for 10 seconds). Make a tight fist with your left hand. Squeeze it tightly. Note how it feels (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 5 seconds). Once again, squeeze your left hand tightly and study the tension that you feel (pause for 5 seconds). And once again, just relax and think of the tension disappearing from our fingers (pause for 10 seconds). Make a tight fist with your right hand. Squeeze it as tightly as you can and note the tension in your fingers and your hand, and your forearm (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 5 seconds). Once again, squeeze your right fist tightly (pause for 5 seconds). And again, just relax (pause for 10 seconds).

Make a tight fist with your left hand and bend your arm to make your left biceps hard. Hold it tense (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax totally. Feel the warmth escape down your biceps through your forearm, and out of your fingers (pause for 10 seconds). Now make a tight fist with the other hand and raise your hand to make your right biceps hard. Hold it tightly, and feel the tension (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax. Concentrate on the feelings flowing through your arm (pause for 10 seconds). Now, squeeze both fists at once and bend both arms to make them totally tense throughout. Hold it, and think about the tension you feel (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax, and feel the total warmth and relaxation flowing through your muscles. All the tension is flowing out of your fingertips (pause for 10 seconds).

Now, wrinkle your forehead and squint your eyes very tight and hard. Squeeze them tight and hard. Feel the tension across your forehead and through your eyes. Now relax. Note the sensations running through your eyes. Just relax (pause for 10 seconds). Okay, squeeze your jaws tight together and raise your chin to make your neck muscles hard. Hold it, bite down hard, tense your neck, and squeeze your lips really tight (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Now, all together, wrinkle up your forehead and squeeze your eyes tight, bite down hard with your jaws, raise your chin and tighten up your neck, and make your lips tight. Hold them all and feel the tension throughout your forehead, and eyes, and jaw, and neck, and lips. Hold it. Now relax. Just totally relax and enjoy the tingling sensations (pause for 15 seconds).

Now, squeeze both your shoulders forward as hard as you can until you feel your muscles pulling tightly right across your back, especially in the area between your shoulder blades. Squeeze them. Hold them tight. Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Now squeeze your shoulders forward again and, at the same time, suck your stomach in as far as you can and tense your stomach muscles. Feel the tension throughout your stomach. Hold it (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Once more, squeeze your shoulder blades forward again, suck in your stomach as far as you can, tense your stomach muscles, and feel the tension throughout your upper body. Now relax (pause for 10 seconds).

Now, we are going to review all of the muscle systems that we have covered so far. First, take three deep breaths (pause for 10 seconds). Ready? Tighten up both fists and bend both of your arms to squeeze your biceps tight. Wrinkle your forehead and squeeze your eyes tight. Bite down hard with your jaws, raise your chin, and hold your lips tight. Squeeze your shoulders forward and suck in your stomach and push your stomach muscles against it. Hold them all. Feel the tremendous tension throughout. Now relax. Take a deep breath. Just feel the tension disappearing. Think about the total relaxation throughout all of your muscles-in your arms, in your head, in your shoulders, in your stomach. Just relax (pause for 10 seconds).

Now, let’s go to your legs. Bring your left heel in tight toward your chair, push it down hard, and raise your toes so that your calf and your thigh are extremely tense. Squeeze your toes up and push your heel down hard (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). One more time, bring your left heel in tight toward your chair, push it down hard, and raise your toes so that your calf and your thigh are extremely tense. Push down on the heel and raise your toes. Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Now, bring your right heel in tight toward your chair and push it down and raise your toes so that your calf and your thigh are extremely tense. Push your heel down, squeeze your toes up, and squeeze your leg in tight (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds).

Now, let’s do both legs together. Squeeze your heels in tight toward your chair, push down on your heels, and raise your toes as high and as tight as you can. Hold it (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Now, take 3 deep breaths (pause for 5 seconds). Now, tense all the muscles as they are named, exactly as you have practiced: left fist and biceps, right fist and biceps, forehead, eyes, jaw, neck, lips, shoulders, stomach, left leg, right leg. Hold it (pause for 5 seconds). Now relax (pause for 10 seconds). Breathe in deeply 3 times and then repeat the total tensing and then the total relaxing, and while you are breathing in deeply and then tensing and then relaxing, notice how relaxed all of your muscles feel. Now tense (pause for 5 seconds) and relax (pause for 5 seconds). Now, breathe normally and enjoy the completely tension-free state of your body and muscles (pause for 5 seconds). Now turn the recording off.

Deep Muscle Relaxation Exercise

Practice deep muscle relaxation by either playing the recording of the muscle relaxation script or watching the following video. Make sure you are in a quiet, dimly lit setting with as few distractions as possible.

Imagery (Greenberger & Padesky, pp. 185-186)

Imagery involves visualizing scenes that are tranquil and relaxing to you. Scenes may be actual places you know that feel safe and relaxing, or they may be scenes you create to be tranquil, safe, and relaxing. The specific scene is less important than how the image makes you feel. The more senses you can incorporate into your image, the more relaxing imagery is likely to be. If you can imagine the smells, sounds, and tactile sensations as well as the visual aspects of the scene, you will improve your ability to relax.

Imagery Exercise

Instructions: Watch the following guided imagery video and reflect on the experience by thinking about your answers to the following questions:

• How did you feel before, during, and after the exercise?
• What thoughts did you have during the exercise?
• Did your pain decrease after completing the exercise?

Attention Diversion (Turk & Winter, pp. 62-63)

Have chronic pain? Try attention diversion. Those who suffer from chronic pain naturally tend to focus on their bodies, on how severe the pain is, and on how much they can or cannot do. This is human nature. We each have the untapped ability, however, to attend to other things, at least some of the time. The way diversion works with pain is based on the principle that we cannot focus on everything that is going on around us all the time. For example, while you are reading this, some sounds are likely going on in the background. Stop for a moment and listen. What do you hear? It might be the sound of the fan on your air conditioner or heater or the ticking of a clock. In the same way, there are feelings within our body that we fail to pay attention to all of the time. For example, you may have a watch on your wrist or a ring on your finger. If you do, focus on how they feel against your skin. How about your socks or shoes? How do they feel?

The important thing about this is to realize that all of these sensations are always going on, but out of habit, we do no pay attention to them. When it comes to your pain, many people do not realize the power of focus and attention, particularly distraction. By distraction, we can choose what will be the focus of our attention for a specific period of time. You don’t necessarily want to distract yourself all the time, but there are times when distraction can help you feel a greater sense of control, create relaxation, and reduce the intensity of your pain.

Next Step

To determine which relaxation methods work best for you, rate your stress level before and after completing them. Practice the one or two methods that work best for you regularly to make them fully effective.