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Anonymous138
1,194 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts43 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes26 Current upvotes26 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceMay 16, 2020
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Give me a reason to be alive
Depression Support / by Anonymous138
Last post
June 13th, 2021
...See more Hello. I really need some help right now. I feel so numb and so much pain at the same time I don't know how to explain it. I am so tired and I just want to fall asleep and sleep forever. Although I am feeling numb most of the time my suicidal thoughts are getting stronger, to be honest they don't even bother me as much anymore because I'm really used to them to the point where they don't even scare me that much, if that makes sense. I don't really know what to do if it wasn't for my family to be honest I probably wouldn't be still alive. But I am so tired and alone . And no matter how much I love my family I don't know if that's gonna be enough of a reason for me. I probably should cringe, ungrateful and wired. Sorry
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False reality
Depression Support / by Anonymous138
Last post
April 13th, 2021
...See more Hello everyone. I just wanted to share something. So for the past months I've been zoning out or completely creating a different "reality" in my head just so I can avoid thinking of the real life . And I've been doing it so much that when I "come back" to the reality I live in usually I have a meltdown or feel a lot of pain and all of my suicidal thoughts are back. I'm starting to think that this is not a good coping mechanism , but at least when I do it I feel numb which I guess is better than to be in pain. I'm kinda scared that at some point I won't be able to tell the difference between what's real and what's not. I don't know what to do at this point, to be honest I have completely given up on life anyway lol. I probably should crazy.
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I want to cry but I can't
Depression Support / by Anonymous138
Last post
March 16th, 2021
...See more Hello. I don't really know what is happening at the moment. I am in a really wired mental state right now. Most of the time I feel numb and if I don't feel numb i am feeling like shit. I want to cry but I can't. I ignore everything, all my thoughts and I've been bottling up everything for the past like 3-4 months that it feels like I forgot how to feel anything or cry. And to be honest I am really scared to cry again , because there is so much I've bottled up I am scared what will happen if it comes out. I don't know what to do really I kinda feel like I'm not even real anymore and I'm so confused all the time. Anyone else feel like that or is it just me.
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What have I done
Self-Harm Recovery / by Anonymous138
Last post
March 16th, 2021
...See more I haven't sh in almost 5 months , but I'm so mad at myself for ever doing it. I just want all the scars to disappear I hate them and I hate myself because of them . I know there is no way for them to go away but if anyone knows anything that can help please let me know. I can't even look at my arms anymore . I don't know what to do.
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