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CrystalMermaid555
10,395 M Pacing Forward 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts638 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceAugust 21, 2017
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I don't see the point of living anymore
Depression Support / by CrystalMermaid555
Last post
 December 20th, 2019
...See more I've been struggling with being social for most of my life. I don't know why. Its always been really hard to express myself verbally and I had trouble talking with people. I was always the quiet one in school. I work on my soical skills but they aren't getting better. I feel like this is something I'll never be good at and its hopeless. I feel like I''ll always have a really hard time making friends and that I'll never get better at this. I'm also pretty emotionally numb which doesnt help. I just don't care anymore
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I feel like a failure
Anxiety Support / by CrystalMermaid555
Last post
 November 6th, 2019
...See more Hello. I'm a 20 year old female. I feel like my social anxiety is holding me back in several areas in my life. I am having a terrible time finding a job. I've been on countless interviews in the past 2 years and haven't been able to find one. I feel like my anxiety makes me look like am idiot. Even when I prepare, I still get really nervous and it shows. I feel like a loser. Having social skills is something I've striglled with my entire life. It makes me feel like a failure. I have been getting slightly beter by talking to more people, but I don't think its good enough. I have really high expectations for myself. I'm also really hard on myself too. I am hyper aware of evryt little thing I'm doing and I judge myself for every single thing I do. I also think that my social anxiety is the reason why I can't seem to stick with anything. I signed up for taekwondo class a few years ago but only did it for a month. I played violin for half a year but stopped doing that. Its really embarassing. I've tried to fake having confidence but that doesn't work either. I still feel ike a failure. My family doesn't help either. When I asked them if I'd be qulified to work a certain job, I was told I don't like to talk to people. I've also been told I don't like to smile. Being told those things just makes me feel worse. I am trying, but I'm not trying hard enough. I have no hope for my future. I have no faith in myself. Being rejected by all these jobs makes me feel even worse. People tell me to just keep applying, but I know it'd be a waste of time. No matte how hard I try, I just seem to not get it right. I'm always doing something wrong. I feel like a total failure.
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Out of Options
Depression Support / by CrystalMermaid555
Last post
 November 5th, 2019
...See more I am a 20 year old female living wiht my parents and older sister. I have been going through really terrible bouts of depression lately. I'm having a horrrible time fiding a job, (my interview skills are trash and my anxiety makes it worse.) I only have 1 friend and my self esteem is nonexistant. My mom refuses to take me to a therapist. And considering I'm still under her insurance, I can't see one without her knowledge. And since I don't have a job, I can't pay for it out of pocket either. I've also been increasingly suiscidal and my feelings are starting to scare me a bit. I think about it every day at this point. I won't actually do it, but still. Playing video games, reading, exercsing helps a bit, but those feelings are always there. I don't know what to do anymore. Even when I think about how my life might turn around, I just can't see it going anywhere good.
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I think people suck
Anxiety Support / by CrystalMermaid555
Last post
 August 23rd, 2017
...See more For some reason, I just assume that everyone is a douche bag, I dont know why. It makes it hard for me to make friends. My therapist said I had this thing called hypervigilance. I'm afraid everyone's judging me constantly. But even without that, I still think that people in general just suck. What should I do? I doubt i'll get any useful advice from here, but it was worth a shot.
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