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DoveryGuy
3 133 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 19, 2026
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I feel horrible for not wanting to be clean.
Addiction Support / by DoveryGuy
Last post
 2 hours ago
...See more I struggle with SH addiction. TW: SH I've been clean for a month and a half but I'm not proud nor happy. I feel grief. I grief to feel the metal dragging across my skin, the blood seeping out. It's just what makes me feel happy, alive and valid. I know you can find validation elsewhere but.. for me, it's from SH. I have no friends. Irl and online. I only have my alters, mom, aunt and my partner.. yet, it's lonely. I struggle with it alone because everyone forces me to stop. They took all the sharp things. They cut out every way I can access it. I understand their worries but it hurts me a lot. I cry every night.. I miss it. I don't want to stay clean anymore. The scars on my thighs are fading and I hate it.
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Am I a spoiled only child?
Family & Caregivers / by DoveryGuy
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more Hi! I'm 16 years old. I struggle with ADHD, autistic spectrum, depression (Unspecified), OSDD, BPD and C-PTSD. I grew up with a really rough childhood. My mom got me when she was 15 and she had to let my grandparents raise me. To be honest, I think I was a really cute baby.. but I feel ashamed knowing my face looks like no one in my family except my dad.. (absent) I despise him and it makes me despise my face. I hate knowing my mom's genes is not even visible. As a child, I barely got anything I wanted. A few food, play time, friends. I raised myself with a TV screen. When my grandparents have to go elsewhere, Sometimes.. I would be locked in the house with only one meal (I was 5-10) or they would leave me with my cousin (1 year older), she later groomed me and.. SA'ed me many times to the point I thought it was normal and developed hypersexuality later in life. Recently, I've been doubting myself and questioning my worth a lot. I'm an only child with only a mom and aunt. We're pretty close but.. not that much. I always feel selfish and spoiled for wanting so many things.. like a PC and video games knowing our family struggles financially but those things are the only things that give me true happiness.. which is so out of reach. I don't force my parents to buy them but the thought of wanting makes me feel bad about myself. I want so many things in life. I want too much. I want my life to be easier. I want to be able to play what I want to play. I want a new phone since the one I use right now crashes every game I try to play.. it's just... frustrating. I feel selfish.
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Any advice?
Friendship Support / by DoveryGuy
Last post
 13 hours ago
...See more I'm going back to school soon which is probably a month.. Hi, I'm a 16 years old, hyper feminine transman. I struggle with ADHD, autistic spectrum, depression, OSDD, BPD and C-PTSD. A few months ago, I had a conflict with one of my peers, I remember only a little.. she raised her voice and told me something that caused self doubt and blaming. I remember shutting down after that. It caused me to distance myself from all of my friends and go deeper into sh addiction. Soon enough, I attempted.. it failed. My school knows. My (old) friends knows. I panic at the thought of going to school, being inside crowds, and just making eye contactw with anyone. I felt abandoned. I don't know what's wrong with me.. I feel like it's my fault but at the same time it's not. I asked for help. I really did. My teacher didn't help nor did my classmate that I was close to. Recently, I keep getting flashbacks of happy memories of my (old) friends, their smiles, their words, our moments together. I cry at night knowing I ruined everything. I always ruin my friendships. I either hurt them or myself. It's like I'm bound to be alone when all I ever wanted in life was a best friend that would never say no to playing games and hanging out with me. It hurts me so much. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I'm scared. It's all overwhelming..
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