Am I a spoiled only child?

Hi! I'm 16 years old. I struggle with ADHD, autistic spectrum, depression (Unspecified), OSDD, BPD and C-PTSD.

I grew up with a really rough childhood. My mom got me when she was 15 and she had to let my grandparents raise me. To be honest, I think I was a really cute baby.. but I feel ashamed knowing my face looks like no one in my family except my dad.. (absent) I despise him and it makes me despise my face. I hate knowing my mom's genes is not even visible.

As a child, I barely got anything I wanted. A few food, play time, friends. I raised myself with a TV screen. When my grandparents have to go elsewhere, Sometimes.. I would be locked in the house with only one meal (I was 5-10) or they would leave me with my cousin (1 year older), she later groomed me and.. SA'ed me many times to the point I thought it was normal and developed hypersexuality later in life.

Recently, I've been doubting myself and questioning my worth a lot. I'm an only child with only a mom and aunt. We're pretty close but.. not that much. I always feel selfish and spoiled for wanting so many things.. like a PC and video games knowing our family struggles financially but those things are the only things that give me true happiness.. which is so out of reach. I don't force my parents to buy them but the thought of wanting makes me feel bad about myself. I want so many things in life. I want too much. I want my life to be easier. I want to be able to play what I want to play. I want a new phone since the one I use right now crashes every game I try to play.. it's just... frustrating. I feel selfish.