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Gabilu
72,253 M Big Steps 4
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts2,900 Forum posts37 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 25, 2015
Bio

I´m 30 and still learning about life, love and I´m looking for self improvement, I love the bird in my profile, it´s really cute


Recent forum posts
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My mother thinks I'm her enemy
Family & Caregivers / by Gabilu
Last post
 July 25th, 2021
...See more I'm 30 years old and i live with my mother, she is my only relative left, her ex husband was abusive and he left the house after the cops took him away when he hit her badly. Now every thing that's bad she accuses me of doing it, if the cat threw the plants to the floor, it's me, if the flowers fell from the plant, it's me, if a moth eats her clothes, it's me, I've tried to talk to her but everything escalates to yelling, I end up crying, and she gets mad because I'm crying and she doesn't like me crying even though her words hurt deeply. I do want to leave , I want to live somewhere else but I feel like I'm trapped, i don't know how to make her understand that bad things happen and that's not my fault, I'm not a bad daughter..I am now emotionally distant from her but it's because of the insults she said to me on those rages and because I realized during my recent break up that my ex boyfriend was a lot like her , and i don't want someone that doesn't acknowledge its faults and gaslights me like my mother does. Please help
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Do I want my ex boyfriend to let me go or not?
Relationship Stress / by Gabilu
Last post
 June 9th, 2021
...See more My ex boyfriend wrote to me saying he loves me and misses me, but that's it, he doesn't do anything to get back together, it's just that..words, and i don't do anything with words..so i cut him off i told him he knows what to do, that i don't like him to say i love or i miss you if they are just that: words, and he doesn't take any action to be with me. Yesterday i went out shopping and when i answered a message with a voice note, he asked where was i, with who? I told him it's none of his business because he wanted the break up, he wanted it to not be of his business, he says i hurt him with my words, but what about what he does? It hurts me doing this once again, it hurts pushing him away , but also i don't want to be kept hooked for nothing 😭 and i think i do love him , but also i can't wait for him forever. Am i doing the right thing? It's just that I've changed during the first no contact phase but now he hasn't changed a bit, or even thought about it, i do want him to truly realize he did wrong
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I'm confused now about my feelings
Relationship Stress / by Gabilu
Last post
 June 25th, 2021
...See more I'm 30 years old, my ex is 25, he left me because he said his 3 years old daughter was going to live with him in his house with his mother, his mother's cousin and her family, oh and also the mother (his ex). According to what he said, he did that because she threatened to leave to other place and that he won't see his daughter, she doesn't even have his last name, matter of fact he wasn't even at her birth because he even thought she wasn't his daughter, because his ex cheated multiple times, only because the toddler looks like him is just then that he came to realize that she was his daughter, even though there's no DNA test. Well, he left me because he said he couldn't be with me the amount of time i deserved and he left me when I needed him, my cat of 17 years old just died and besides my whole household is toxic, i live only with my mother but she is toxic, like way too toxic , she hit me yesterday because I forgot to buy something and she believes I'm this piece of shit that do things on purpose, I'm not..she thinks I'm like her hex husband, he raised me and everything bad that happens she thinks is my fault. My ex was my rock, he was my support, he helped me with my bills, I thought he truly loved me because of his actions, when my cellphone was stolen he bought me a new one, he helped me a lot at my job, we work together but he still helped me and wanted me to succeed, he even taught me stuff that could get him into trouble, he was so different from all the previous emotionally abusive relationships I had, that i thought genuinely he was someone special. Now he is writing to me continuously, i went through no contact and he has reached out several times, when I ask him why, he says he wants to know about me, that just because he decided to spend time with his daughter I decided to cut him off , i told him no, because it was his decition, a lot of people has children from previous relationships and they can live a good life, and he decided to exclude me from it , i don't know what to do. I don't want to get back together with him, my life is too chaotic for that, but at the same time I want him to regret what he has done to me...He wrote and said he misses me and i miss my rock too, but I don't know what to do, i don't trust him anymore
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I'm confused about my feelings now
Relationship Stress / by Gabilu
Last post
 May 27th, 2021
...See more I'm 30 years old, my ex is 25, he left me because he said his 3 years old daughter was going to live with him in his house with his mother, his mother's cousin and her family, oh and also the mother (his ex). According to what he said, he did that because she threatened to leave to other place and that he won't see his daughter, she doesn't even have his last name, matter of fact he wasn't even at her birth because he even thought she wasn't his daughter, because his ex cheated multiple times, only because the toddler looks like him is just then that he came to realize that she was his daughter, even though there's no DNA test. Well, he left me because he said he couldn't be with me the amount of time i deserved and he left me when I needed him, my cat of 17 years old just died and besides my whole household is toxic, i live only with my mother but she is toxic, like way too toxic , she hit me yesterday because I forgot to buy something and she believes I'm this piece of shit that do things on purpose, I'm not..she thinks I'm like her hex husband, he raised me and everything bad that happens she thinks is my fault. My ex was my rock, he was my support, he helped me with my bills, I thought he truly loved me because of his actions, when my cellphone was stolen he bought me a new one, he helped me a lot at my job, we work together but he still helped me and wanted me to succeed, he even taught me stuff that could get him into trouble, he was so different from all the previous emotionally abusive relationships I had, that i thought genuinely he was someone special. Now he is writing to me continuously, i went through no contact and he has reached out several times, when I ask him why, he says he wants to know about me, that just because he decided to spend time with his daughter I decided to cut him off , i told him no, because it was his decition, a lot of people has children from previous relationships and they can live a good life, and he decided to exclude me from it , i don't know what to do. He said he misses me and i do miss him too, but I can't trust him anymore I don't want to get back together with him, my life is too chaotic for that, but at the same time I want him to regret what he has done to me...But at the same time i do miss my rock, i don't know what to do or how to behave when he writes to me
Gabilu profile picture
I'm really confused about my feelings now
Relationship Stress / by Gabilu
Last post
 June 2nd, 2021
...See more I'm 30 years old, my ex is 25, he left me because he said his 3 years old daughter was going to live with him in his house with his mother, his mother's cousin and her family, oh and also the mother (his ex). According to what he said, he did that because she threatened to leave to other place and that he won't see his daughter, she doesn't even have his last name, matter of fact he wasn't even at her birth because he even thought she wasn't his daughter, because his ex cheated multiple times, only because the toddler looks like him is just then that he came to realize that she was his daughter, even though there's no DNA test. Well, he left me because he said he couldn't be with me the amount of time i deserved and he left me when I needed him, my cat of 17 years old just died and besides my whole household is toxic, i live only with my mother but she is toxic, like way too toxic , she hit me yesterday because I forgot to buy something and she believes I'm this piece of shit that do things on purpose, I'm not..she thinks I'm like her hex husband, he raised me and everything bad that happens she thinks is my fault. My ex was my rock, he was my support, he helped me with my bills, I thought he truly loved me because of his actions, when my cellphone was stolen he bought me a new one, he helped me a lot at my job, we work together but he still helped me and wanted me to succeed, he even taught me stuff that could get him into trouble, he was so different from all the previous emotionally abusive relationships I had, that i thought genuinely he was someone special. Now he is writing to me continuously, i went through no contact and he has reached out several times, when I ask him why, he says he wants to know about me, that just because he decided to spend time with his daughter I decided to cut him off , i told him no, because it was his choice, a lot of people has children from previous relationships and they can live a good life, and he decided to exclude me from it , i don't know what to do. I don't want to get back together with him, my life is too chaotic for that, but at the same time I want him to regret what he has done to me...but I also miss my rock and my support..
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