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HearshotKid
1 1,419 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 51 Compassion hearts264 Forum posts65 Forum upvotes219 Current upvotes219 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 31, 2026
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Feeling ready to give up on being social
35 & Over Community / by HearshotKid
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I'm just seeking to vent here. Please carry on with my best wishes if you're not interested. How exactly am I meant to be 36, a parent, a husband, an employee, and put up with people's BS at the same time. People who I'm not even related to and don't have any actual obligation towards. I'm too old for this stuff, man. My wife and I don't have a lot of friends, and I find myself consistently disappointed in the behavior of the people I do try and maintain relationships with. I'm exhausted, strung out, and juggling daily grind on top of existential demand. I don't need this anymore. The juice is far, far from worth the squeeze the vast majority of the time. I just had an interaction with someone I believe is a good friend, the first one we've had in weeks, that's left me wondering why I bother to respond to this person at all. I know why, because I'm not a jerk. I don't ghost people, but I just can't help but feeling like whatever effort I put into maintaining some kind of social circle is such a hopeless waste of time. Someone talk me out of it, or I'm ready to give up and retreat into my family like a hedgehog into its burrow. I don't feel like I'd be giving a lot up if I did.
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A frail thing
Poetry / by HearshotKid
Last post
 March 22nd
...See more I wrote this poem years ago, when I was a younger man and still had a passion for things like that. I've never showed it to anyone, but I came across it today and wondered why not post it here? I hope you all like it. We probably need more upbeat poetry around here, but it's all I've got on deck at the moment. Please enjoy. A Frail Thing A frail thing be this heart of mine To weathered weariness and despond resigns A traveler burdened by rough road and time A pilgrim whom seeks only rest Though empathy given, by strife undaunted Bearing deserved scars with pride unwanted With solidity bared for those beloved It reserves no strength for me When it speaks aloud it speaks of fear Of falling victim to the insincere Offering affinity and passion endeared To be only dismissed in turn Yet unwilling am I to order retreat Or submit to humble and wary defeat The great mission I hold as of yet incomplete To reach my end empty of love For any remaining would be but a waste A sin, borne of mistrust and hubris and haste Ever shall I gift every bit of the grace Of this frail and hopeful thing of mine If you made it this far then thanks for taking the time to read the whole thing. You're a hero.
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Some simple wisdom
35 & Over Community / by HearshotKid
Last post
 March 16th
...See more My brother sent me this quote this morning. I figured I would share it here. Perhaps someone else out there needs to hear this today. Good luck. Stay strong. Love is all.
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I'm already failing my son
35 & Over Community / by HearshotKid
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but maybe someone out there at the same point in life as me is feeling the same way. For the sake of brevity I'll make a long story short. I am a deeply unhappy person. For a long time now I've dealt with feelings of loneliness, isolation, shame, extremely low self-worth, and unfulfilled desires for both platonic connection as well as intimacy (which was harder to type out than I thought it would be). I have a beautiful 20 month old son that I would do anything for. I would carve my own heart out of my chest and hand it to him if that's what he needed from me. Though I'm keenly aware of the fact that all of this emotional baggage I'm carrying that isn't being addressed is keeping me from being the father he deserves. It's killing my patience with him, and it's preventing me from being available when he reaches for me. I don't have a great relationship with my own father, and all I want is to be able to break that cycle with him. It will devastate me if I fail. I can't talk to my wife about all of this. She is exhausted, overwhelmed, limited by her own deep-seeded insecurities, and struggles with untreated ADHD. History would suggest that she'd likely get defensive, then angry, and then try and guilt me for how I feel. I just don't know what to do. My son isn't even 2 years old yet and I'm already failing him.
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