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L90
2 242 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceJune 11, 2019
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Do I try to talk to her or just let her go?
Relationship Stress / by L90
Last post
 March 16th, 2025
...See more I've had a long distance relationship for the last 2 years with this girl I had met on vacation. In January I noticed she started being distant. Taking really long to message me back despite having been active on WhatsApp multiple times since my message had been delivered. Sometimes she wouldn't respond for 12+ hours, or ignore messages all together. I get sometimes people are busy and sometimes people need space, but this was pretty consistent and out of character. I tried everything. I tried asking her if something was wrong, I tried letting her know I noticed her distance and it was bothering me, I tried giving her space, I tried being more playful and engaging, I tried talking to her about planning a trip together. There were two times, out of the blue, she let me know how much she appreciates me and loves having me in her life, but other than that, her actions remained the same. For a month and a half this went on. I became anxious, angry, sad, frustrated, confused, and then just disinterested. After about only two days of my apparent disinterest she relentlessly asked me what's wrong. Usually I'm all for communicating, but I know there is no way to reason or logic or communicate my way back into raising her interest levels. That's a feeling thing. When you're not interested in something, having it shoved in your face or asked about it doesn't fix it. So I told her nothing was wrong I've just been busy. I think she's wanted this to happen the last month and a half. I think she didn't care about me anymore but wanted me to be the one to end it or be able to blame me. Well now it looks like she removed me as a contact on WhatsApp, so didn't block me and can still receive messages. So, looks like this is going to be the end of this. Part of me just doesn't even care. The last couple of days that we haven't really talked have been the first without any anxiety because of this situation. Part of me just really lost interest in this whole thing when the conversations started to drag out due to her distance and lack of interest. Part of me is real damn sad. I'm just not sure if it is worth trying to have one more conversation with her about before letting this thing go and could really use some advice
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Just had to see my ex
Relationship Stress / by L90
Last post
 August 25th, 2021
...See more We've been broken up for a while now but she was my first love and hurt me worse than I ever could have imagined being hurt. Everybody said she was fucked up, not good for a relationship, wouldn't settle down for a long time, would be going for fling to fling. Well less than a year after we were done, she committed to the guy she slept with behind my back the first time we dated and has been with him since. Fucking kills me she's been the loving committed girlfriend that I thought I was getting all to this guy from another country she screwed behind my back. I had to see her because she is my best friend's fiance's sister and we had some pre wedding stuff to do as the wedding party. I don't have that visceral anxious reaction to seeing her anymore. We, as a group, had a good time. My ex and I even talked 1 on 1 for a bit. Didn't hurt or kill me. Till she told me she's moving to the Mediterranean with him. Didn't kill me but just such a wtf. It's just sucks and is so weird, somebody that used to cuddle as close to me as she could, squeeze me and tell me she loves me, tell me how happy I made her, would giggle with me nonstop, tell me everything about her life and her days, now looked at me as if I'm somebody she's met maybe 10 times in her life. I was the one she used to get so excited and happy to see. I was the one she was thinking about all the time. The one in her heart. Now she sees me and I'm pretty sure I'd measure up to be less than a speck of dust in her universe. I didn't expect her to jump into my arms or anything like that, it's just weird. And it still hurts deep down that she couldn't be committed to me and love me the way she does this guy she's been with. All I wanted was her to love me the way she said and acted like she did. To be really committed to me. It's sad to think about all the places we could have traveled, live music we would have seen, the group dates we could have gone on, the breakfasts, the lunches, the dinners, all the small special moments. Never happened. I guess she'll always be the one that got away. Fuck.
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How do I stop loving my ex that was terrible to me??
Relationship Stress / by L90
Last post
 December 9th, 2019
...See more 3 of my best friends have said my ex is a terrible person. That she has a black heart. That she doesnt care about other people. That shes fucked up. One of those people are my exs sisters boyfriend so theyre close. People on forums have said shes got issues. My first therapist said shes fucked up emotionally and crazy. My second therapist said shes too immature, doesnt love herself enough. Why cant I accept any of this? Why doesnt any of it click and sink in? When we were together (dated twice) she was the absolute sweetest, most adoring, loving, caring, affectionate, bubbly, outgoing, amazing girl. We had so much fun together every time we were together. Every little memory we made together means so much to me they were so amazing. All these amazing memories and times and how sweet she was stick in my mind and heart. All the fucked up things she did, its like they never happened. Why cant I accept it and believe it and feel it that shes not a good person? How do I get it to sink in? How do I believe it emotionally??
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6 months and I still miss her everyday
Relationship Stress / by L90
Last post
 July 1st, 2019
...See more I can't believe I can still feel my heart breaking. I know she has completely moved on, doesn't have a morsel of a feeling left for me, I'm probably not even a blink of an eye thought to her anymore. How is that possible? Somebody she said was so special to her, that she loved so much, that made her smile and laugh like I did, it's like I was never part of her life. After all the happy, amazing times together, how is that possible? To not even miss me, think about me, at all? How could she have seemed so happy when with me, and now seem just as happy or happier without me? I thought we both felt this undeniable, indescribable connection and chemistry. I thought for sure this meant we were supposed to be together, that nobody could feel this and this not meant to be. The way we were automatically drawn to each other, the way she said she felt something for me the very first time we met, the way she kept coming back to me, the way she looked at me and acted with me, I was so sure she felt the exact same thing. In my mind there was no way I could feel this, and she could be acting the way she was and saying the things she was and this not be right. How could there be somebody else out there that could make her feel and act the way she did with me? It's been 6 months and I still catch myself saying that I can't believe she broke up with me. The entire time we were together she seemed soo happy and in love with me. She was so affectionate, always cuddling and hanging on me, smiling, giggling, lighting up when I was around. The few days leading up to me meeting her and her family on vacation she was texting me, calling me, facetiming me. Telling me how much she misses me, loves me, couldn't wait for me to get to where they were. She seemed soo happy once I got there. We were having so much fun the first few days. Drinking, dancing, laying around, having amazing sex. Everything seemed perfect. I couldn't wait to start the new year with her. She seemed just as certain that we were going to be together (talked about both our birthdays, valentines day, music festival over the summer) and excited about it as well. I had no idea anything was even remotely wrong or irritating her, let alone that she was so unhappy that she wanted to break up with me! To break up with somebody you must be so unhappy being with them. That kills me that she was at that level with me. But how could she have been that miserable and me not know at all? Yes she was cold our last 2 days together but that literally started out of nowhere. She listed off a bunch of reasons she broke up with me, but none of them really made any sense. None of them were things that were insurmountable, that couldn't be discussed, worked on, even just freaking hinted at. Why couldn't she just something like "Hey babe, I feel like we've only been doing what I want to do lately, what do you want to do tonight?" or "Why don't you choose what we get for dinner tonight I feel like I've been deciding a lot lately?" if she felt like I was deferring to her too much. Which I don't even think I really did! Is it that hard to say something to your boyfriend like this? She said she felt partly contained. I have NO idea how. She went and did whatever she wanted, whenever, with whoever. I made sure not to make plans too much with her or too far in advance. Didn't text all damn day long. Even if she felt that way, couldn't she have just said "Babe, I want to spend the weekend with my friends, I feel like we've been spending a lot of time together lately/I feel a little smothered."? She said she really wanted it to work. If she wanted it to work so badly, why didn't she even ONCE try to say something, ask me something, hint at something. It just kills me that the last 6 months we could have so many moments, so many experiences, so many dinners, nights out, mornings waking up together. But we've been complete strangers. No more knowing what's going on in each others lives, no more sweet dreams texts, no more mornings of her pulling me in tight telling me she loves me when I kiss her goodbye. It kills me. I just don't understand what she didn't love about me, about us. What she felt wasn't right between us. How can I still feel like she's the one after everything that's happened. How could she know I'm not the one for her without ever having have tried to work through what was going on in her head. I've met and been with so many girls. I've never fallen for any of them. Never been happy like this with any of them. I look through all these girls on dating apps, in the streets, and none of them do anything for me like my ex. I don't know how I'm supposed to find this perfect package again. She's beyond beautiful, sexy, cute, adorable. Caring, affectionate, thoughtful, fun, bubbly. I could go on forever. I just want things to be how they were supposed to be. How we talked about them being. The last 6 months I was supposed to be so happy and so in love. I've been basically nothing but sad and depressed. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm a good person, I do the right thing. I treated her like absolute gold. I took her on awesome dates, we seemed to always have the best time when together, I was there for her when she needed me, I got her cute little gifts just because, I was supportive, caring, thoughtful, loving, affectionate, encouraging. I thanked the universe for bringing this girl back into my life (it was our second time dating with 6 months in between). I just don't get why none of it was enough. In my head, since it's not like anything so terrible happened, maybe we could still make it work at some point. She's connected to my social circle by association so it's not like there's no way to ever see her or speak to her again. But I don't know. I don't even want to find anybody else. I still think she's the one, she just needs to grow up, mature a bit, see just how good I was to her compared to what else is out there. I just miss her so much. I can't believe she's out there without me like it's nothing. I'll never even come close to understanding how somebody that acted/seemed so happy and in love with me could break up with me like this and move on so easily. FUCK PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.
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Blindside Dumped AGAIN
Relationship Stress / by L90
Last post
 June 14th, 2019
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