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LostCat94
1 2,396 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts97 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceApril 9, 2019
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Beyond Burnt Out
Group Support / by LostCat94
Last post
 June 26th
...See more Im so tired of existing... Not that I want to do anything drastic I'm just EXHAUSTED. Every second of every day by absolutely everything. I'm so over my job and the constant fires that have to be put out...but I've worked myself into a hole. I have worked my way up the customer service pipeline to make really good money. With my husband starting a company and inflation ever rising... I can't afford to quit or downgrade jobs.  I could potentially get a similar job with another company...but I think being on the phones it's 50% of the problem. I've never enjoyed talking on the phone but work is work... That said my God do people just say ANYTHING to people on the phone. I get yelled at all week long, while also dealing with fires within the company itself. I work in luxury hospitality, so the most particular employers and customers and no one is ever happy.  It's shredding my mental state. I am now never happy, just always waiting for the next person to start screaming or the next panic attack from within the company. I'm so strung out. My husband and I also both work from home, and he keeps our toddler throughout the day.  I love my baby more than any and everything and he is such a light in my life...but he also screams all the time, at everything, for no reason. Starts and stops at the literal drop of a hat. I know this is just part of him figuring it out...but it just so constant. Unfortunately sound has always been a trigger for me and I feel like I can't get silence, ever.  Since we're all home all the time, there just isn't much separation. We can't really afford to send the little one to daycare and I really wouldn't want to anyway... My dream was to be a stay at home mom... Not a wfh mom. So I don't want to miss any more than I already do. I had planned so many adventures for us that well already never get to do...  I hate this world and what it's become. This isn't the life I was promised growing up. I keep working myself to the bone just for the goalpost to move. It's so hollowing. I don't know that there really is a solution as the country is crumbling around us so I guess I'm just screaming into the void in hopes of getting a moments peace in my mind. Hope you all are coping with existing better than I am. 
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1yr Post
Family & Caregivers / by LostCat94
Last post
 November 12th, 2025
...See more Hi all,  I am 1 year post partum and struggling. I thought it'd be different. That I would be back able to take care of myself and be a person. Before having my son I was an avid crafter and gamer who took fairly decent care of themselves.  Now I wake up, make breakfast for him and do all his morning stuff- diaper, clothes, etc, then I'm clocking into work. I work from home, and am so lucky that my husband (B) does as well and we can keep our son home. B is primary caregiver as I work on the phones, but they stay mostly in the same area and we chat throughout the day. Little one is very much momma's boy and will run off to me any chance he gets. I love this, but it's means there is no break during the day.  After work, I'm right back on full mom duties and he's near physically attached to me the rest of the day, until we go to bed. B is amazing and handles a lot of the cooking and some cleaning. But it's never ending. Any small time I get when son is playing or I can get him down for a nap, I'm cleaning or taking over cooking to give B a break. Thankfully weve have maintained my bathing schedule but that's literally it. I don't have time to get ready in the morning, I don't have time to properly clean the house...it's a good day if I get to brush my teeth. I have zero time to even think about doing something just for the joy of it.  I love my son so so much and wouldn't take a second back. I'm just so tired and feel like I don't even exist. We live in a different state than anyone we know and as we both work from home, making friends has been impossible. Though it's also just never been my strong suit. I have 1 friend, the first I ever made in Pre-K, no others have lasted longer than a class, or job. My husband is much better with people and has many friends. They meet frequently to game and play dnd, as he stays up hours after the little one and I have gone to bed. This unfortunately also means he struggles to understand why I'm struggling so hard. He added a kid to his life, my life has become being a mom.  Son is still feeding at night and I have no intentions of stopping breastfeeding. He eats best at night, especially now that teeth have come in so I don't want to drop those feeds. I know that is part of the problem as well, since I have to go to bed earlier to make up for the time I'll be up at night and just the physical drain on my body but I enjoy it so much and it's so good for him. Its been one of the best and most comforting parts of the last year.  I don't know if I am seeking advice or solidarity. Maybe I just needed to write it out and cry. Either way, if you got this far, thanks for your time. 
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Husband's friends/business partners
Friendship Support / by LostCat94
Last post
 September 29th, 2022
...See more My husband is amazingly friendly could be and make friends with anyone or anything. I...have spent most of my life alone. A few passing friends throughout school years, 'black sheep' of the family...I love people but struggle to form lasting relationships. Usually hard to keep up with anyone or find common lifestyles, especially in the current USA. I won't support any beliefs that suppress or hurt others in any way. While I don't form relationships, I love and care deeply for the people I meet and love to hear everyone's stories. That said, I'm trying really hard to get to know my husband's friends and potential business partners. They both claim to be very open accepting guys, but only when it suits them. They are highly religious and often mysoginistic, and when called out about something being deeming or hurtful, even repressive religious practices they support, all whisk away under 'well that's the religion or culture so it's "okay". ' I hate it. It drives me insane. No culture, religion or belief is reason to hurt, respress or demeen anyone. Its never okay to treat someone as less than you, less than human. But they literally laugh and make jokes about it... I've had a really hard life and not been treated kindly to say the very least by a lot of people, especially people that claimed to love me. I'm so uncomfortable with any mentality that hurting people is okay. I have worked really hard to rebuild my life after it was almost taken from me, it broke me and I'm thankful because I could finally see the abuse. It wasn't just one facet of my life, one person, so many fed off that darkness. And I cut them out. I won't say it didn't make me guarded but I also would like to think it changed my world views. To really look at people actions, intentions and beliefs. If they are ignorant or intentionally hurting others. I believe people are individual, even when following a group and you have to really look at them. I am open to learning about more religions and cultures but I believe people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, gender, sexuality, etc. And I believe that every one of those people has a choice to be incredible despite any of those characterics because all I care for is how one treats others. Everything else is interesting but if your base beliefs are to hurt anyone in any way for existing...I can't support that and I won't stand by for anyone supporting it silently. Your beliefs are your beliefs and you are very much entitled to them, I however am entitled to speak up and inform you that you are hurting someone every time you do. Its just so infuriating when someone doesn't see or care that they are hurting others because it doesn't effect them. Why do people literally have to be shot to realize that shooting people is bad? Why is it so okay for others to be hurting just because you aren't? My husband loves these boys like brothers, he also has a habit of shrugging off someone bad traits until they hurt him. Idk what to do, I can't tell if I have a traumatic past and am just guarded and need to be more open minded and understanding. Or idk.... I just don't know. I keep saying hey that thing you just said it's really hurtful and if you thought about it in this context you would see that. Its just always brushed off, with literally well that works for me or in my life it's like this. I'm literally screaming look at it from someone else's view but your own, you are not everyone and what's okay for you is not just okay for everyone else cause you say so. I feel like I am going to ruin my husband's relationship, which I don't want. He shares none of their gross beliefs but is so bonded over the things they do share he just doesn't care. I feel like this has become an aita post but...I'm losing it.
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