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Pandao3o
167 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceApril 22, 2021
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she/her

Recent forum posts
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I want to be a better listener
Depression Support / by Pandao3o
Last post
 September 12th, 2023
...See more Hello! One of my friends with a history of depression has been feeling more depressed lately. For a period of time I believe he felt better however the wave has come back. Could I get some advice on how to handle a conversation with them? But if possible avoid the cliche things such as “how can I help you” or “how are you coping?” I don’t know if its because he is a man and I am female but I often struggle with talking about these topics but I want to listen and be able to give good advice. Last time he hinted towards suicide, I instead kind of avoided the topic directly and invited him to just hang out and watch a movie in the future. Was that the right move? Or did I invalidate his feelings? Optional Read: I would also like to mention that this guy previously confessed feelings towards me but because he was already struggling with depression back then and I so was I (with only slight depression), I did not want to drag us both down. I also also wasn’t looking for a relationship. However, now that I am doing much better, I want to help him without allowing him to develop a dependency on me since I think he still has a crush on me… Thanks so much for reading! Any advice is welcome.
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Am I the Jerk?
Relationship Stress / by Pandao3o
Last post
 October 22nd, 2022
...See more So lil friendship drama, I’ll name her A. Basically the match to the fire started with me not wanting to go somewhere with her because it was really hot and I just was not in the mood to be baked in the sun. She then got jokingly offended by this and started saying some “petty” things such as “oh then you're not getting any of the food I’m bringing tomorrow. I started to get really annoyed because I was already in a bad mood and now I’m just thinking shes being petty. So I explain that its already so hot and I always am in a bad mood when its hot for some reason and tell her to basically shut up and I kind of lash out a little. (Context: I’m in high school and it is the most stressful year of my life with all of the classes I’m taking). Of course, she feels bad and tries to apologize but rather than actually apologizing, she says “I’m going to call you out on it because it makes me feel bad… You cant just get pissed at people for no reason and not tell them…” I explain that I have explained why I’m upset (previous encounters) but she didn't seem to understand so I just said whatever. I also mentioned that she takes these “little jokes” too far and sometimes I genuinely get upset. I also said that I don't appreciate it when she constantly stresses about her grades and her upcoming tests to me even though she always does better than me. Anytime something is mentioned about something that she is not involved in, she always makes it a point that she is not involved. I just find annoying that she takes those conversations so personally and somehow makes it all about herself. But… back to the main argument. she claims that “I should just stop my emotions [stresses about tests] just for your benefit?” And this is where it got really unforgivable because essentially A was telling me to stop being mad at her because she feels bad about it. Isn’t that a bit too hypocritical?? Isn’t that what you just told me to do?? It has now been two days since that argument and the first day I just avoided her. Second day I was near her but never really talked to her, but when I tried to, she would not bat an eye. Granted.. maybe I was too quiet or she didn’t her me but still. I was trying to make eye contact and she just avoided me. The roughest part is that she has the more dominant and social personality in our friend group so I can’t avoid her otherwise I’d lose my other friends in that group. Although for now I have been talking to other friend groups. I just want to summarize my current feelings towards her in the most raw and genuine way I can: I feel that A is being too self-centralized by not considering that I am allowed to be annoyed at you just as much as you are annoyed at me. I feel like you don’t realize that you take your jokes too far and anytime we say the slightest thing about you, you just start crying or get annoyed at me. I get it, its exactly what I’m doing now. But this is my bottled “hatred” throughout the time I’ve known you. I don't want to lose our friendship but I want you to realize that I’m going to be mad at you sometimes. Anyways… thanks for reading. I would love to get some advice on what to do or whether or not I really am the asshole in this situation.
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Delivered.
Relationship Stress / by Pandao3o
Last post
 February 23rd, 2022
...See more Ok so I met this guy online like 3 months ago and I seriously love everything bc about this guy. We played video games and around the same time i met him I got a huge confidence boost for whatever reason. Whether it was related to the guy or not I’m not actually sure cause I was also doing pretty decent in other aspects of my life. But now that I’ve related this feeling of confidence with him I can’t stop thinking about him. And a couple weeks ago he’s been growing more distant. He’s responded are short and boring. However from the beginning it was always me to send the text first. And now I’ve been left on delivered for hours and hours despite his snap score increasing. Every goddamn time I get a notification I hope it’s from him. It’s starting to be annoying how much he plagues my thoughts. And I knew that a romantic relationship wasn’t really realistic so I settled for being friends but I’m afraid I’m losing that too. I get a week off school and most of my irl friends are busy so I’m just here ranting. Not that I ever told my friends about my online issues lol. Anyways I’m just disappointed that my big confidence boost is fading so soon and I would love advice on how to move on I guess. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way lol. Much love <3
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How do I help?
Depression Support / by Pandao3o
Last post
 June 19th, 2021
...See more So my best friend recently got diagnosed with mild to moderate depression and I just don’t know how I can help. Ive said things like I’m here for you and I’ve asked how I can help but obviously they won’t give me a real answer. I also have many friends who show signs of depression. I’m just really frustrated because I don’t know how I can help when I can’t even help myself. I’m 14 and I’ve tried to talk about it with my parents but while I understand they are only trying to help, they ended up making me feel worse about myself. Also sorry this is my first time on 7 cups.
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How do I help?
Depression Support / by Pandao3o
Last post
 June 22nd, 2021
...See more So my friend recently got diagnosed with mild-moderate depression and I just don’t know how to help. I’ve said things like I’m here if you need me and I’ve asked how I can help but they obviously won’t give an answer. I also have many other friends who show signs of depression. I just don’t know what to do cause I can’t even help myself. I’m 14 years old and I’ve tried talking to my parents about it and I understand that they are trying to help but they ended up making me feel worse about myself. Also sorry this is my first time on 7 cups.
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