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Pickoff
7 101,984 M Moving Swiftly 1
Surviving
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts5,913 Forum posts142 Forum upvotes197 Current upvotes197 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceJuly 18, 2025
Bio

Hello, Welcome to my bio!

I am surprised that anyone is looking at it!!!

I prefer to be called Pickoff (Pick for short!) or Lila (A nickname off of my real name.)

A Pick-off is a cave rescue technique, where a person is stuck on rope and the rescuer gets their weight onto them then gets them off rope

Pronouns She/her

A little about me:

I am 16 years old. I love the outdoors! I have gone in virgin caves all over the world. I love running. I have slept in a tent for the past 9ish months! It is amazing!!!⛺🥾❤️🥾⛺❤️🥾⛺❤️

I am going to public school for the first time this year!!! (Update) It is awful!!! I hate the kids there, but the school isn't bad except math, which I am just not good at. It doesn't help that I have panic attacks with math. But it has been so nice to actually get a real education, since this is my first time getting real education.🎒❤️🎒❤️🎒❤️

My top 3 music artists at the moment are Matt Hansen, Tate McRae, and Alexander Stewart.🎶❤️🎶❤️🎶❤️

My music artist obsession has been Kyle Hume recently.❤️❤️❤️

My favorite person on here is bubbleperson!!!! But I love a bunch of people on here!!!❤️❤️❤️

I don't like talking about my life with a bunch of people. nothing against people, I just get overwhelmed, and would rather wait when it is quieter.

I love to get to know everyone on here!!! There are so many incredible people on here!!!

At the moment I am living with 3 poodles, they are all different sizes. One is a Toy, that is the smallest one, then there is the middle size dog that is a Miniature, the biggest one is a service dog, and it is a Standard.❤️🐩❤️🐩❤️🐩

TW/// I am battling a lot at the moment... Including depression, processing my SA, and physical assaults, moving into foster care, PTSD, Panic attacks, court stuff, and a lot more. All annoying stuff! Blaa

I get triggered by all caps... I think of it as yelling...

I have to end on a good note!!!! I am writing my 3rd book!!! I have finished publishing my first book online, it is a memoir. A memoir is a nonfiction book written from a first-person perceptive. Focusing on a certain time period of event in their life.❤️📚❤️📚❤️📚



Recent forum posts
Pickoff profile picture
I feel invisible
Depression Support / by Pickoff
Last post
 April 4th
...See more TW////// Life has been hard recently. I am trying to do everything right and I am failing. I disappoint everyone around me. I don't talk and just avoid everyone who I live with. I am in foster care, and have been for 9 months. I don't have friends at school. I work a lot and have nice coworkers, but outside of that I just get my school done and just get through each day.  I go though each day get my own things done, and barely ever talk to people if I am not at work. I have disappeared for hours and no one has noticed. I feel like no one cares about me.  Last week I had a meeting with the FBI. And the case is going to go no where. I am frustrated with it all. And want him in jail/prison. I creating a list of every place where I was raped. So maybe there was video footage of it happening. He deserves nothing, and should be in jail. I feel like I am in jail living in this house. I hate it so much.  It has been hard to find all the places and I have given myself so many panic attacks by doing so.  I am constantly stressed about what I am going to do once I am 18. I am alone and the friend who I was planning on living with. Bad things came up about her. So I am no longer going there. So now I have zero place to crash and it is scary. I want to be free, but I also need to figure out an income.  I am very adventures, but not a lot of those jobs actually pay and if they do they don't pay well. Which I have been going back and forth of does it actually matter. I don't want kids, and I don't think I ever want a boyfriend or to get married. I hate relying on anyone and just can't. I can't trust people and that destroys relationships.  *hugs to anyone who wants I am surprised if anyone reads this far down to my rants.... I just needed to talk. And have no one to talk to. 
Pickoff profile picture
Summarizing my life
Poetry / by Pickoff
Last post
 March 15th
...See more Speaking up is hand. I still don't know if it was worth it People say it is But actions speak louder than words People go back to normal Leaving me behind I can't act like everything is fine I won't reunify They don't understand Only government people believe The rest think I lie Life is hard when no one listens People talk and whisper around me Everyone wants things to go back to normal But you are the one that finally stood up Said the truth, that no one wants to hear The truth must be heard Even if no one was to listen Life gets dark when no one listens They walk around you wondering why You struggle to process everything It's hard when you are all by yourself Healing isn't instant No matter how much people want it to be Somethings I can't forget No matter how much I try I struggle and hide Not wanting anyone to know how much I cry Hugs to anyone who wants🫂
Pickoff profile picture
I want to get healthy...
Addiction Support / by Pickoff
Last post
 March 1st
...See more Hey...I did really well for a couple of weeks of not doing any bad behaviors. And then last week I relapsed hard and got into more bad habits. It got really bad over the weekend. I want to stop all my bad habits forever. But it is so incredibly hard. I through away and deleted apps and things. I want to get better. I want to get healthy. I am have been basically addicted to everything at some point and I am only 16. It is quite embarrassing. No one around me knows about any of my addictions since they don't care or notice me. I got into a really bad situation and started dating two people. I ended things. But I hate myself for it. I know it was wrong. I have been addicted to everything from P0rn to drugs, to alcohol to basically anything. It is really bad. I really want to stop.
Pickoff profile picture
Would love critiques on my book
Reading & Writing / by Pickoff
Last post
 February 20th
...See more Here is my book. It it a memoir. I would love some edits to make it better. Please be nice about my story. But I would love to make it to the point that I could publish it. https://drive.google.com/file/d/18zxFhgBLCtYjMx438F_QZ0CYO67ZyK21/view?usp=drivesdk
Pickoff profile picture
Poem "The past year of my life"
Poetry / by Pickoff
Last post
 February 9th
...See more Take up the Courts Case burden Send forth your information Hours and hours of interviews Till silence fills the station People hush around you, They whisper, talk, and stare No one knows what to do or say-- To prove the other wrong Take up the Courts Case burden Time passes, slow and cold. We wait to hear the answer-- The truth that must be told. All wish to be the right one, Yet none will break the peace. The tension lingers, heavy still, And will not find release.
Pickoff profile picture
Critiques on my book?
Reading & Writing / by Pickoff
Last post
 February 12th
...See more I have never been on this topic of forms before... I am writing books. It's it possible to get critiques and corrections on my writing? *Hugs to anyone who wants! ❤️
Pickoff profile picture
I messed up
Addiction Support / by Pickoff
Last post
 January 26th
...See more I relapsed last night for the first time in 2 months... I really don't like myself rn for doing it. Idk what got into me. I kinda just did it and kept going. I stopped for so long. It hurts that I messed up. P0rn addiction is awful. And I need to stop completely. It is whenever I start thinking about my SA. I don't like myself so I want to make myself feel more pain. So I watch it. I get triggered by it a lot. And I know I am not helping myself. But when I get in my head. I just don't care. I hate what I let myself go through for years with my SA. So I just want to feel pain by watching it.... I know it is twisted and wrong, and probably makes no sense. Hugs to anyone who wants❤️
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