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Sammylou55
1 862 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 44 Compassion hearts58 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 10, 2026
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Dont know if I can do this on my own
Addiction Support / by Sammylou55
Last post
 Sunday
...See more I keep relapsing when im on my own. Im finding it very hard. The thought of getting out of bed and going to work is torture and the whole day all I think about is going back to bed it's not fair on my son but sometimes I just feel like I just want to give up everything I feel like it's just all piling up and I've cried and I've begged for help and nobody was to help me I have never asked for help before I've always done it on my own and the feeling you get when you ask for help crying back and you can't get any it's horrible I just want to be me again and I don't know how
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How do I get him out my head ?
Relationship Stress / by Sammylou55
Last post
 Monday
...See more Hi everyone. I was with my partner for 5 years had a bad patch he kept doing the stuff I kept saying not to I kept telling him if he didn't stop i would start to hate him he would blame me for how I felt even though he said for me to tell him my feelings or he would flip it. So I did get anger and resentment towards him. And went down a very dark hole got addicted to cocaine. To block everything. His dad died and i wasn't in a good why I know thats no excuse but I wasn’t there for him. Ive been trying to make it up ever since I will always regret that. But he said he wanted to help me eveytime I needed help he ignored me and put his phone on silent time and time again told me I could talk to him about everything only to get told its my fault I feel like that. Ive had depression on ad of for 11 years. I knew something wasn't right I asked him if there was someone else to just tell me its would be okay I would of understood. He kept getting angry saying he is the most loyal person how could I think that all the time he acused me all the time I kept asking I told him tell me now because later it will destroy me and if I find out he started ignoring me so I found out. He finally admitted it he is speaking to someone else she makes him happy a d she is amazing. I just want to know why and he can't tell me. Its buggered up my head. Is it punishment? He won't tell me why and I need to know he was the love of my life
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Help to move on
Addiction Support / by Sammylou55
Last post
 2 hours ago
...See more I’ve struggled with depression for a few years now, but now, on top of that, I’m addicted to cocaine. I went down a really bad dark hole and got really bad with it. I pushed away the people I loved, pushed away my partner of five years. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most because I was too busy on drugs and being angry at him. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Now I am really at rock bottom, and my depression is at its worst. He just left me and he’s met somebody else, and I don't know how to deal with these feelings. They are so strong, and I can't get them out of my head. All I do is think about him and regret what I did, but I can't go back in time. I wish I could because I love him so much. He was the love of my life, and I hate myself for not being there when he needed me. I don't know how to deal with this heartbreak and the addiction on top. Its constantly in my head how do I stop it how do I stop thinking about it?
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