How do I get him out my head ?
Hi everyone. I was with my partner for 5 years had a bad patch he kept doing the stuff I kept saying not to I kept telling him if he didn't stop i would start to hate him he would blame me for how I felt even though he said for me to tell him my feelings or he would flip it. So I did get anger and resentment towards him. And went down a very dark hole got addicted to cocaine. To block everything. His dad died and i wasn't in a good why I know thats no excuse but I wasn’t there for him. Ive been trying to make it up ever since I will always regret that. But he said he wanted to help me eveytime I needed help he ignored me and put his phone on silent time and time again told me I could talk to him about everything only to get told its my fault I feel like that. Ive had depression on ad of for 11 years. I knew something wasn't right I asked him if there was someone else to just tell me its would be okay I would of understood. He kept getting angry saying he is the most loyal person how could I think that all the time he acused me all the time I kept asking I told him tell me now because later it will destroy me and if I find out he started ignoring me so I found out. He finally admitted it he is speaking to someone else she makes him happy a d she is amazing. I just want to know why and he can't tell me. Its buggered up my head. Is it punishment? He won't tell me why and I need to know he was the love of my life
@Sam55lou
Your having a lot of frustrations with this guy..
I'm sorry to hear hear you can't stop thinking about him.
If you can't stop thinking about him the main reason maybe you've been around him for so long. It will take time to forget him.
Thanks for sharing and venting your frustrations with us..🌲
@Sam55lou Find closure.
When something grabs our attention we need closure to get it away from us and turn it into a forgettable memory. Forget yesterday and read a good book before going to bed.
I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. ❤️ It sounds like you've been carrying a lot of hurt, anger, regret, and confusion for a long time, and finding out that someone you loved so deeply is now speaking to someone else must be heartbreaking.
I want you to know that making mistakes in a relationship or struggling with your mental health doesn't mean you deserve to be hurt. You can acknowledge the times you weren't there for him while also recognizing that your own feelings and struggles deserved understanding and support. You don't have to punish yourself forever for things you regret.
I can understand why you keep asking yourself why this happened and why he won't give you an explanation. Sometimes, not having answers makes it even harder to heal. But please remember that his inability or unwillingness to explain his choices doesn't mean you are not worthy of an explanation, love, or respect. His decision to move on is not proof that you weren't enough.
You don't have to figure everything out today. Right now, your wellbeing matters, too. Please be gentle with yourself, and if cocaine is still something you're struggling with, you deserve support without shame or judgment. You don't have to face that alone.
If you're comfortable sharing, what hurts you the most right now: losing the person you thought you'd spend your life with, feeling betrayed by his choices, or being left with so many unanswered questions? I'm here to listen. ❤️
❤️ A Little Reminder: You Are Stronger Than You Think ❤️
Sometimes life hurts in ways we never expected. We lose people we love, face disappointments, make mistakes, and find ourselves wondering why things happened the way they did. But please remember that your past does not define your future, and your mistakes do not take away your worth.
Healing takes time. You don't have to be strong every day, and you don't have to pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. It's okay to cry, to feel lost, and to take things one day at a time. What matters is that you keep giving yourself a chance to heal and begin again.
Never let someone else's choices convince you that you are unworthy of love. You deserve peace, honesty, kindness, and genuine happiness. Even when life feels dark, there is still hope for better days.
Be patient with yourself. Celebrate the small steps, forgive yourself for the things you cannot change, and remember that asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness.
You are still here, your story is not over, and better chapters can still be written. 🌷❤️
Take one day at a time. You don't have to fix your whole life today. Just take the next small step toward a healthier, happier you. You matter, your feelings matter, and you deserve the same compassion you so freely give to others. 💕
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. ❤️ When you've loved someone for five years, you can't just switch off your feelings and forget them overnight. It's understandable that he keeps coming into your thoughts, especially when you're left with so many unanswered questions.
Try not to put pressure on yourself to get him out of your head all at once. Healing is a process, and it takes time. When thoughts of him come up, allow yourself to feel them without blaming yourself, then gently bring your attention back to yourself and what you need in that moment. It might help to take some space from his social media and messages, spend time with people who care about you, and focus on small things that bring you peace.
You can regret things that happened in the relationship without carrying all the blame for how it ended. You deserve to heal, to feel safe again, and to build a life that isn't centred around someone else's choices. Please be kind to yourself, especially when things feel overwhelming. You don't have to go through this alone. ❤️
Can I ask you something? When you find yourself thinking about him, is it mostly because you miss him and the good memories, or because you keep wondering why he did this to you and wishing you could have answers? 🌷