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SomeHope2022
1 5,878 M Moving Along 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts218 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceDecember 3, 2022
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Diagnosed as an adult
ADHD Support / by SomeHope2022
Last post
 July 5th
...See more Recently my therapist wanted to test me for autism and ADHD.  I had never considered that before. I am in my 40's I have always felt very different from people and always thought something was wrong with me.  When I started to look into how ADHD affects women I was surprised because it described me so well.  I think my way of coping was to become a quiet person, and develop all these control things so that my life was not chaotic but recently life has become too hard to keep up this way.  So I started to just let myself be but then it seemed to magnify all the behaviors I have tried to control.  I am really having trouble with time, I get distracted easily.  I find that movement is what I really need, I am always wanting to move.  I also found out I am not quiet.  I was being that way as a defense mechanism and that I might not be lazy after all.  This is all a lot to take in.  I feel overwhelmed with emotions right now.  The psychiatrist was pretty sure on the ADHD but wants me to get tested because he thinks it will help me.  Did any of you get diagnosed late in life.  Any help would be appreciated.  I feel like I am all over the place right now.  
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Men Explain why a boy would do this? The psychology?
Relationship Stress / by SomeHope2022
Last post
 March 5th, 2025
...See more I have a question for the Men. I would Like your perspective on why a man would behave a certain way.  This is a man in his 40's so he is not a kid.  I dated him for a year and half.  In that year he rarely complimented my appearance.  He said I was pretty one time.   When we would go out on a nice date and I dressed up he never said anything.  He did not post me on social media.  I even followed him on *** and he did not follow me back.  One of the reasons the relationship ended was I found out he was liking, hearting and commenting on women's pics on social media.  Not like celebrities, but normal girls.  He was my friend for a short while on fb and never liked my photos.   On one of the girls pics he commented "gorgeous"  What makes a man do this?  Did he just not find me attractive?  This was not necessarily lustful likes, like most of the girls were fully dressed.  Why date a girl if you do not find her attractive?  He even said he wasn't really man of words but he showed through actions, which I thought his actions showed that he was attracted to me but then he could post gorgeous on another womans post.  Is it just immaturity?  Is he being purposely cruel, like if maybe he never compliments me I wont realize I'm beautiful and stay with him lol?  Stupid me was trying all this time to get him to acknowledge me and find me pretty, so I lied to myself and told myself he just couldn't express well.  When he sure knows how to compliment the online women.  I know I am dumb, you dont have to tell me.  I guess what threw me off is I didnt expect this from the character he showed me and I didn't expect it at this age.  If I was 20 this would make a lot more sense.  He claims he desires a healthy woman naturally beautiful, not a ton of make up.  All the girls he like were tons of makup and opposite of me.  Guys why not go after what you like instead of pretending you want a healthy woman and trying to break her spirit.  That gorgeous comment hurt so bad.  Oh man.  
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Spouse not considering me with illness
Relationship Stress / by SomeHope2022
Last post
 January 11th, 2023
...See more I have a chronic illness. If I get sick, my symptoms are worse and I have the sickness plus my chronic illness to deal with. My chronic illness spins out of control when I am sick. I got covid in July and it took me almost 6 months to get over it and it destroyed my process with handling my chronic illness. Plus I had to go to the emergency room because of problems with breathing. I have tried to be very careful with Covid and other things like the flu. My body can't handle it like normal people. I felt like I needed to compromise with my husband on things in regard to us being careful, but I feel like it has just become, that he goes out and I have to accept the fact that I will get sick from him. He doesnt even try to be careful when he is out. Well the other day he tells me his Parents are coming to town, he doesn't ask me he tells me we are going out for supper for his moms birthday then we are going out for lunch the next day. I have ate in very few restaurants in the last couple years, usually if the numbers are low and it seems safe. I live in a big city. I tell him I don't feel comfortable about eating out because of the covid numbers, they have been rising and by the time his parents visit we will have high numbers. He didn't even respond, just dismissed me and expected me to go. This is not healthy communication, and it really shows he doesn't care about my health. I know it can be hard to live with someone who is sick but I think he should at least care that if I get sick it is horrible for me and I should try to avoid it at all costs. He is not being careful for me and it really hurts. I don't know what to do. I don't think it is worth the risk for my health. I can still see his parents and they can go eat without me but I know it will tick him off and his parents. I don't know how to deal with all of this. They don't seem to understand how this affects my health. I wish I could be like everyone else but my body has chosen to not work right. I hate that I have to choose between my health and what my husband wants. Although I feel he is being selfish and not considerate of how I feel.
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Past Trauma or Present?
Trauma Support / by SomeHope2022
Last post
 December 12th, 2022
...See more I had some relationship trauma from a past relationship. I started having some trauma issues pop up in my life and at first, I thought that maybe past trauma was affecting my relationship and I was maybe transferring old trauma into a present relationship. After thinking about it for awhile I am more sure that my present relationship is toxic and is causing new trauma and maybe my way of dealing with it was to tell myself it was just old hurt. Is there a good way to tell if the effects of trauma I am feeling is from the past or present? One other weird thing I kept having these reoccurring dreams where my ex would turn into my present partner or my partner would turn into my ex. I had them for almost a year. Then one day it was like my brain spoke to me and I had the thought....maybe this is because in a way they are the same person, doing similar things to me? Immediately after this thought I never had the dream again. I have come to the conclusion that my relationship is either causing me some trauma or I have some major pstd issues from my past that is affecting my current relationship. I cannot figure it out.
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Can A spouse/significant other think highly of their partner and also have horrible thoughts about them as well?
Relationship Stress / by SomeHope2022
Last post
 December 6th, 2022
...See more I am married and My husband will one moment tell me how amazing I am and flatter me with words and then he will at another moment tell me bad things he thinks about me. He says that is normal. I am not so sure. I know that relationships arent perfect and everyone has negative things about their significant other but this doesnt seem like normal negative, if that makes sense. Example of some of the things he has said: I am Judgmental and critical and think I am above everyone. That I lack compassion, that I am too much. I don't understand how the world works. I am a nag. He is not usually saying these things in anger and he means them. If someone described someone to me the way he negatively describes me, I would want nothing to do with that person. I would think they were toxic and not want a relationship with them. Yet he will say I am amazing? I don't understand how these things can co exist? BTW I do not think that his negative comments about me are true and when I challenge them he tells me that is my perception and how I see things but I could be looking at things wrong. It is confusing to me to be told I am wonderful and horrible
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