Past Trauma or Present?
I had some relationship trauma from a past relationship. I started having some trauma issues pop up in my life and at first, I thought that maybe past trauma was affecting my relationship and I was maybe transferring old trauma into a present relationship. After thinking about it for awhile I am more sure that my present relationship is toxic and is causing new trauma and maybe my way of dealing with it was to tell myself it was just old hurt. Is there a good way to tell if the effects of trauma I am feeling is from the past or present?
One other weird thing I kept having these reoccurring dreams where my ex would turn into my present partner or my partner would turn into my ex. I had them for almost a year. Then one day it was like my brain spoke to me and I had the thought....maybe this is because in a way they are the same person, doing similar things to me? Immediately after this thought I never had the dream again. I have come to the conclusion that my relationship is either causing me some trauma or I have some major pstd issues from my past that is affecting my current relationship. I cannot figure it out.
@SomeHope2022
There could easily be a bit of both, or it could be the transference from the previous relationship on to this, it's hard to tell with what you shared, but it's really wise of you to understand that the transference can happen because a lot of people don't even question. Do you have some one you trust that you can talk to about specifics. Sometimes when I can't tell if something is as bad as my brain thinks it is I look at the facts as objectively as I can, usually with another person who can help me be objective.
It's also possible that because of your trauma, completely unintentional behavior on your partners part could trigger the trauma response when it may not be necessary, or another possibility is that because of your past trauma your recognizing red flags sooner this time.
I know that's not helpful in discerning because it still could go either way, but I am a huge supporter of listening to your gut, intuition, dreams, etc. Dreams often manifest in ways that represent things we are experiencing in life. And so I feel like with it coming up in a dream it may be even more worth it to talk with someone you trust who could help you see things in an objective way to help you make the discernment for yourself!
