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Sunny0109
2 9,175 M Pacing Forward 1
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts143 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceDecember 28, 2021
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**Trigger Warning** I might delete this soon
Trauma Support / by Sunny0109
Last post
 May 8th, 2025
...See more Honestly I don’t know how to start this. My boyfriend has suddenly stop communicating with me for about 2 weeks. I didn’t find it unusual at first since we were long distance and he is managing a business and at the same time he is currently working for a company as well. A very close friend of ours which is also his co-worker told me that he hasn’t seen my boyfriend for about a week now and he is worried as well, so I asked him if he could come to his apartment to check on him since he isn’t answering his phone. He went to his apartment, he kept on knocking but he wasn’t answering as well, I gave him the pin to his apartment and he got in, when he got in my boyfriend wasn’t speaking that much when he was asked what happened? he said he was fine. Then finally our friend was able to convince him to atleast talk to me. So he called me and he told me what happened, he was sexually assaulted by one of the boss from his company, he got drugged and he woke up the next day, he didn’t know what happened he said he was just called by the management, they were discussing something to him then he passed out. I don’t know how I would honestly help him, seeing him blaming himself for everything, he said its his fault and he’s sorry that he neglected me and he said he didnt wanna tell me because it would hurt me, he dont know when it happened anymore because he couldnt look at the date. I told him none of it was his fault and he shouldn’t blame himself. He did told me that he wanted me to just distract him so he wouldnt think of it. Which I did, I asked our friends if we could watch a movie together and we did talk like nothing happened. I made sure before I join the call, that they wont noticed that I cried and I pretended that nothing is bothering me and I tried my best to act like normal, where I would joke around and laugh with them. (These friends are his close friends as well so they are aware of what happened) I just dont really know how else I could help him, I’m scare that it would happen again, he can’t leave the company as well since he has a contract and he would threaten him since they are big. I just really dont know if what I’m doing is helping him. I didnt wanna show him my weakness that I’m hurt and in pain as well because of what happened to him. I wanted to focus on how I can help him and not on my pain.
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Anxiety and guilt from my son’s attempt s*icide
Anxiety Support / by Sunny0109
Last post
 April 6th, 2025
...See more I don’t know where to start but this happened around 2022, my son attempted s*icide. He was 20 years old that time, before the incident happened, we sent in overseas to study, he specifically requested this from me and his father, which we allowed him since he wanted to study and stay there for awhile, since he also doing research. his father and I did not have a good relationship since we are continuously fighting, the relationship was toxic, he never prioritized us (me and his son) and would always reason out his work and he barely has time for himself. I would say I was the most toxic one since i have a lot of unresolved issues/trauma from my childhood and those issues were resurfacing whenever I get triggered with some situation. The way I cope up with it was very toxic as I tend to push my husband away when I get triggered. The relationship that we have wasn’t healthy which lead my son feeling abandoned and pushing him to commit s*icide. He was sent to the hospital and requested to the doctors to not allow us to see him nor give us any update about his condition, he suffered from temporary loss of memory but he was able to recover it. He was also in a comatose for a couple of days which made things worst. When he was ready to speak to us, he wanted us out of his life, he said that our family broke him and he was suffering as well depression, he was went to a facility as well for therapy as his depression and anxiety was really worst that he couldn’t stand to see us. This broke us so much, me and his father decided to break up and move on with our lives as the relationship was toxic already. 2024, May My son has recovered and is reaching out already with me. He said he forgave me and he wanted to forget everything. I admit that a part of me still couldn’t move on and up to this day I still blame myself for what happened to him. 2025, Feb I started dating a new man, he does not only love me but loves my son dearly. He provides for both of us and my son always reach out to him, I can see how my son is happy and would always call and text him randomly (it feels like he reverted back to his younger self) I guess because its the first time that he had a father figure which my ex was absent ever since. But I also somehow worry, because recently my son doesn’t talk much and I feel like his ignoring me at some point, recently my issues were resurfacing again, unconsciously my issues are affecting the people around me but I’m also glad because my husband right now is helping me heal from everything. I know that my traumas is not an excuse, but I have too much unresolved trauma that I’m not even aware of anymore. I already seek therapist, but it just keeps coming out, I’m discovering new issues within myself that I have to fix. I’m very anxious right now, I already came from a broken family, my mother was never a good mother (she abandon us for a man, she left us with our abusive father) this made me so insecure with my son as I’m afraid to become like my mother.
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Trauma sexual assault r*pe (trigger warning)
Trauma Support / by Sunny0109
Last post
 March 21st, 2025
...See more Hi, this is the first time I’ll be posting here, to be honest my mind is still a mess right now. Just wanna know your thoughts about this, feel free to share your opinion and I’m posting this as well to get this off my chest which hopefully would help Recently my friends (guy friends, who I am in the same circle with) has confronted me about me making them feel uncomfortable because they can sense the awkwardness in me whenever I’m with them, whether its in message or calls, they sense the same vibes that I am uncomfortable/awkward with them. They said that I was giving them vibes that they will sexually assault me or that they will do something bad to me (Even tho we’ve been in the same circle and close for almost a decade, some of them are the husbands of my bestfriends) They confronted me how I always make them feel that I’m uncomfortable being around them and that it feels like I am labeling them as a possible predator which one of my guy friend (my best friend’s husband) came to me and he was very furious because of what I’m unconsciously doing with them (These people are aware of my trauma about being sexually assaulted and r*pe) They called me off as they said they are also a victim themselves but they are furious as I am labeling them with those abusers. To be honest I was totally unaware that is what I was making them feel. All of them knows that I was aloof with men but me on the other hand I only realize it just recently. They said they understand my trauma but its getting worst each day on how I’m making them feel unconsciously. One of my friend (a woman) told me that there is still might be something that I haven’t fully accepted in me, that probably a part of me is denying the fact that I was a victim. the other day and yesterday they were calling me out and even tho those words are harsh I knew to myself that they have a point, it wasn’t only me who’s a victim, they are also. I would admit a part of me, felt that I was being invalidated but I also understand the fact that whether it was unconscious I still am responsible for what I made them feel. first experience was with my father, second one was a friend who I trusted and treated as my brother. My boyfriend told me that I needed to admit it to myself first and acknowledge that I was a victim so I can move forward and stop what I was unconsciously doing to my male friends.
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