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Themystique1
3 2,933 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts84 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 24, 2023
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Grief related to loss of pets
Grief & Loss / by Themystique1
Last post
 January 3rd, 2024
...See more I lost a rescued kitten on 1st of January. My year started badly. I was just trying to compose myself that another animal life needs help. A stray dog with her 8 puppies. There is no shelter house to rely on. All in vain. I cannot afford to help myself that much let alone anyone else, but that situation is catastrophic for my mental health. I want to help them, but how?  I fell ill today. I’m bed ridden with jitters, tight chest with nausea. It’s as if there is doomsday on its own. It’s all because I’m unable to help my animal friends.  I want to talk to someone who can understand this situation. 
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I am never ok.
Depression Support / by Themystique1
Last post
 September 15th, 2023
...See more Sometimes I feel like EVERYTHING is fine. Everything is better than expected. Everything is perfect. But while I feel like this I am also having an inner struggle with “what if” something goes wrong, especially I am aware of the things which are inevitable. And other times I feel nothing is right. There is so much suffering in the world alongside my personal battles. I never have the “highs”, even if I am at the most celebratory position I take a pause and get conscious of the suffering of the vulnerable. The vulnerable humans and the animals/birds. I carry a lot of grief even in good times. Fireworks around dark water, so to speak. If I am at shopping mall, I feel ashamed and sad that how a lot of poor people are outside, a lot! And how a lot of stray cats and dogs must be in need. And how I cannot help them all. So I stand with the vulnerable humans and animals in solidarity, in spirit, and feel miserable. As a result I’m a minimalist and lead a Bohemian life. Which made me misfit hence lonely. A walk in nature and drawing regularly, has kept me alive after a setback put a burn on my this “empathetic” nature. Otherwise, I am often godless, which is equal to being at the end of the world. I want to vanish. I feel like I’m fated to suffer?
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How can I be happy amidst chaos? Please empathize
General Support / by Themystique1
Last post
 July 20th, 2023
...See more Can you imagine something that made you suffer greatly and empathize with me to understand that I’m not ok like you weren’t?And then I will tell you that amidst this chaos I cannot make a gratitude list and stay positive. Like a listener said. Can you imagine the nauseating helplessness? The godless heart, and nihilistic sense of alienation. The music has no melody. Food no taste? Nature has no colors. Nothing is funny. I feel no love. Nothing looks beautiful. I am unable to be selfish. I am unable to be a chooser and refuse something because I’m scared of nothingness. So much clutter. I accept people of any type because I’m scared of loneliness. I allowed vampires and I allowed monsters. To be drained. And to be injured, eventually. I’m highly educated, but I have failures. Big ones. A failure at 39. And I have no energy ANYMORE to try again. Millions of attempts. The sky is empty. The earth is chaotic. I’m terribly unwell. Friends help? They are just contact numbers., I am staying stoic. But lately I needed support. Because I hate abandonment but I feel like abandoning life. However I have few responsibilities. I must endure this but I fail. I am just a failure. I reached some people and they just want something in return from my empty self. Not a single friend received my call or met me without a motive, I’m empty you see?. So I am writing here. There is something in my heart that I want to share, but with who? Untold story is a killer.
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