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Trixy2
1 130 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 26, 2022
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Workplace Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by Trixy2
Last post
 May 1st, 2022
...See more I’m really anxious about things going on in my work right now. My manager judges me very harshly, and doesn’t see the effort I put in at all. For instance, over christmas I went above and beyond to give as much as I could - even going against my health condition at times, but he said the others did more than I did just because they pulled 12 hour shifts. They were given a bonus 70% higher than I was. I missed appointments, stayed longer, did a task I usually don’t do, ended up spending Christmas and new year alone because of my work hours - and it all counted for nothing. I’ve discovered that my manager is inflating my absence levels. Where I asked for unpaid leave, he keeps processing it as sickness. I’m now over the limit and risk receiving a formal warning. So I have to find strength to fight that. I currently have covid. The policy on covid leave changed today. I text my manager a couple of days ago, I emailed the office and I kept phoning, but my calls were being rejected. I have qualifications in law, but I don’t work in law. So my legal brain tells me that because I went off prior to the policy changing, I should still be under the same policy now. I go back to work in a few days. But as my manager seems to be doing everything he can to make my absence appear worse than it is - I can’t help worrying. So I’m stressing and not resting at all. In my head I know the arguments, I know the procedures - but I get anxious, which makes me feel hopeless and then I don’t fight these things. I wish I could switch anxiety off, and just be confident in my own knowledge and handle the situation once and for all. I can’t do anything right now, and I’m in pain from covid, so I really just want to use these last few days to rest and recover. I wish I could switch my brain off.
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Advice for his birthday
Relationship Stress / by Trixy2
Last post
 April 17th, 2022
...See more To keep a long story as short as possible - a guy I’ve been friends with for five years, briefly dated and then had five months no contact with recently came back into my life. We decided we still want to be friends. His birthday is very soon, so with friends in mind I decided to get a card but no present. I’m known for writing sweet messages in cards, but since our relationship status changed and we are still settling into the new boundaries of being friends I am at a loss for what to write in it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Fear of intimacy?
Relationship Stress / by Trixy2
Last post
 February 26th, 2022
...See more This is my first post… I don’t know if I am doing this right. i think the guy I’ve grown crazy about has both a desire for - and fear of - intimacy. It’s a complicated situation that I will explain as briefly as I possibly can. We met online five years ago, and hit it off almost straight away. We became good friends, although long distance, and kept growing closer and closer. He has a very rare form of epilepsy, and grew up shunned throughout school. He only ever had one friend, and that didn’t last as his seizures increased in high school and the friend gave in to peer pressure and let him go. So he’s never really had a relationship or very close friendship, never had anyone who truly had his back. His seizures make him unable to hold a job. He has become someone who has a great deal of empathy, and especially after a period of back to back seizures he really feels intense emotions so he can really understand when someone shares with him, but it is rare he will let down his walls and show his real feelings. He relaxed enough with me to show me his emotions, to cry and admit that he isn’t as accepting of his disability as he likes to show the world. Anyway, we got closer and closer, to the point we were saying “I love you”. He never looked so happy, and said the same about me. Then, he got scared and admitted that and said we should stay friends. Then he apologised and said he still wanted me but he needed to take things slowly. A few weeks later he blocked me, and it was a few months before he spoke to me again. We reconnected, and got even closer. But then he grew scared again, and once again, he blocked me. I was so broken that I wasn’t taking care of myself and ended up having a serious head injury. Thankfully I recovered. When he found out about my accident, he was devastated and kept apologising for not being there for me, and wishing he was. He told me he felt stronger now, and he gave me the things he had held back all this time - his personal mobile/cell number and his home address. He was texting me goodnight every night, and showing a lot more consideration than he had before. He asked me why I was no longer calling him by a certain pet name, and I explained that it was a very special name to me, and I needed to feel secure with him again before I could start using it. The day I used it again he was so happy, and wrote me an emotional message saying so. Eventually I saw the familiar sign of him becoming nervous again, and I asked him directly. He said he could handle it, and promised he wasn’t going to run or block me again. A couple of weeks later, he sent me a message saying I am an amazing friend, and we should stick to being friends. I showed support in that, but said I needed a little time. Then he blocked me again, about a month later. That’s the stage I’m at now. I’m lost - he’s my best friend, and it’s clear that we have feelings for each other, but I don’t need that. I am happy to just stay friends. It feels like he’s really into this, but that he has to keep getting closer incrementally. I do love him, but the friendship means more to me than any potential relationship, especially if relationships are so hard for him! The running and blocking has only been over the past year, so we had four years of great companionship before that. I don’t know if I am right that he has a fear of intimacy, but if I am - has anyone here been through that themselves? Is there anything I can do, to just keep the friendship? We really lift each other up, and have amazing laughs, and it all just comes so easily. It only gets messy when we allow things to cross the friendship line. I’m so lost, and good friends are such a rarity that I don’t want to write off someone I just click with. I don’t know what to do, and my heart is shattered. Thanks for reading.
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