Workplace Anxiety
I’m really anxious about things going on in my work right now. My manager judges me very harshly, and doesn’t see the effort I put in at all. For instance, over christmas I went above and beyond to give as much as I could - even going against my health condition at times, but he said the others did more than I did just because they pulled 12 hour shifts. They were given a bonus 70% higher than I was. I missed appointments, stayed longer, did a task I usually don’t do, ended up spending Christmas and new year alone because of my work hours - and it all counted for nothing.
I’ve discovered that my manager is inflating my absence levels. Where I asked for unpaid leave, he keeps processing it as sickness. I’m now over the limit and risk receiving a formal warning. So I have to find strength to fight that.
I currently have covid. The policy on covid leave changed today. I text my manager a couple of days ago, I emailed the office and I kept phoning, but my calls were being rejected. I have qualifications in law, but I don’t work in law. So my legal brain tells me that because I went off prior to the policy changing, I should still be under the same policy now. I go back to work in a few days. But as my manager seems to be doing everything he can to make my absence appear worse than it is - I can’t help worrying. So I’m stressing and not resting at all.
In my head I know the arguments, I know the procedures - but I get anxious, which makes me feel hopeless and then I don’t fight these things. I wish I could switch anxiety off, and just be confident in my own knowledge and handle the situation once and for all. I can’t do anything right now, and I’m in pain from covid, so I really just want to use these last few days to rest and recover.
I wish I could switch my brain off.
@Trixy2 Your anxiety is valid and real, as unpleasant as it is. Fear is a natural response to things that are threatening, and it sounds like your manager's behavior has been very threatening. You have been treated unfairly, and you are feeling uncertain about the future, I think anyone would feel the same in your position and you are handling it as well as you can.
It sucks to have COVID on top of all of that, it's like Murphy's law! Sometimes talking/writing it out can help with the swirling thoughts- not so much switching them off but at least organizing and externalizing them a bit. If you would like, there are many listeners here to talk to, myself included!
I hope you get well soon
Your manager sounds obnoxious. I hate that you have to deal with him. If overexerting yourself at work goes against your health, maybe it would be better to do only what is expected rather than continue to overexert yourself despite it causing you miss out on bonus opportunities. That or quitting, but I know both options are not easy. Or you could also stand your ground regarding the covid policy and your manager inflating your absences (in a respectful way). However, I know all the options are better said than done. Good luck to you. I hope everything works out.