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amicableKiwi7800
338 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 30, 2022
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Recent forum posts
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I’m scared
Trauma Support / by amicableKiwi7800
Last post
 June 28th, 2023
...See more I’m scared I made a mistake. I finally opened my heart again after getting abused for years. He is amazing. But he is going thru some things that make him totally different and more similar to my ex. I get triggered daily. I have PTSD. I’m constantly going thru anxiety and depression. I’m scared I’ve chosen someone who will treat me badly, because lately he has been treating me differently than he has. We have been together for 6 months. Is this that time in the relationship when I see the “real” him? Did I make a mistake? I love him more than anyone I ever have. I feel blindsided and confused. I often blame myself. Maybe all I deserve is to be treated like I’m disposable. Is that all there is?
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I am broken
Trauma Support / by amicableKiwi7800
Last post
 March 4th, 2022
...See more I have suffered most of my 26 years of life from abuse. My mom, my friends, my boyfriends, and now my husband who has now been removed from my home. I’ve been raped by two guys who were my friends at the time. I look over my life and there’s so much pain and suffering. I have 3 babies I am trying to raise so I have been trying to heal but it’s a long process. I’m hurt and I’m angry. I didn’t set out to marry an abusive person. He was verbally abusive at first and it just progressed to him punching me. I have been diagnosed with C PTSD. I am broken. I am angry. I feel alone. I feel like garbage. I blame myself sometimes. I want to stop hearing his voice in my head. I want to stop doubting myself. I am in pain. But I have to stay strong for my babies who have suffered too. So they can heal. This is all disorganized but I’m typing all my thoughts out. They are chaos. I hope to feel truly free one day. From all of it.
amicableKiwi7800 profile picture
I am broken
Trauma Support / by amicableKiwi7800
Last post
 March 28th, 2022
...See more I have suffered most of my 26 years of life from abuse. My mom, my friends, my boyfriends, and now my husband who has now been removed from my home. I’ve been raped by two guys who were my friends at the time. I look over my life and there’s so much pain and suffering. I have 3 babies I am trying to raise so I have been trying to heal but it’s a long process. I’m hurt and I’m angry. I didn’t set out to marry an abusive person. He was verbally abusive at first and it just progressed to him punching me. I have been diagnosed with C PTSD. I am broken. I am angry. I feel alone. I feel like garbage. I blame myself sometimes. I want to stop hearing his voice in my head. I want to stop doubting myself. I am in pain. But I have to stay strong for my babies who have suffered too. So they can heal. This is all disorganized but I’m typing all my thoughts out. They are chaos. I hope to feel truly free one day. From all of it.
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