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breadmakingviking
105 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2015 Member sinceSeptember 6, 2015
Bio

I absolutely LOOOVVVEEE music. It's one of the many things I like to make, and tastes just as good as my bread!

Recent forum posts
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Physical Recovery!?
Eating Disorder Support / by breadmakingviking
Last post
 October 25th, 2015
...See more So, im only a little underweight according to my bmi at the minute Ive not eaten a tremendous amount more day to day, more at weekends or special events with friends so this is how ive gained from my lowest weight since ED. I'm only a few kgs off of my lowest 'healthy' bmi, which I'm sure I'll gain very soon. But im so confused. How much do i need to eat?How do i know if and when my body is recovered? Is being overweight a possibility during/after recovery? Should I still or need to eat a large amount of calories? No one has explained any of this to me because I avoided going to my GP to get referred to a dietician in the early stages of recovery, infact, GP has only done one ECG and weighed me twice since i was referred to the ED clinic (a year ago). And of course ED meant I would not remind them. Im just stabbing the dark! Its been so long I have no idea what it feels like to be ‘healthy. I just need some practical advice. I don't know anything about physical recovery!! Which is something i need for mental recovery also! Help!?
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Diet Plans, Weight Gain, Wanting to Recover...
Eating Disorder Support / by breadmakingviking
Last post
 September 26th, 2015
...See more Hey!! So after 8 sessions of CBT I've finally taken a look at the dietary plan I was given (in the first session) as a kind of guide to understand what a real meal looks like, and it looks scary as hell! I'm feeling strong enough to tackle it, I just wondered if anyone had any tips to make sure I don't push myself too far and take 9 steps back? Also any tips on how to minimise the general anxiety surrounding my weight gain and body shape that will undoubtly change! Sigh... this is difficult!
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Kind of new to recovery, but feel like I'm relapsing!
Eating Disorder Support / by breadmakingviking
Last post
 September 19th, 2015
...See more So, I'm currently having CBT and things were going REALLY well. But suddenly, I'm thinking the same 'I'm not worth it' thoughts. I'm absolutely desperate to restrict, I think I sort of am, maybe. Not massively like I used to, but enough to feel hungry. And I only have 4 CBT session left! (Of which she wants to work on my behaviours, which are as strong as ever!) I've done loads of things to challenge myself lately, and I'm worried maybe it's too much! I've gained weight, but I don't even know if that's where these negative thoughts and actions are coming from. I'm being forced into seeing my (triggery as hell, who hate me) family next weekend and they're putting a buffet on, which I cannot control myself around. What's worse is I'm at a Wedding reception the night before and there will be a buffet (and alcohol) there too, of which I actually want to partake in! I'm back to the excessive drinking of Pepsi Max, green tea and chewing loads of chewing gum. I had quite a mad weekend last weekend, which was fun and I was dealing really well with, but my body was shot to hell and I needed to work so, alongside all my normal meals, I had some fresh homemade juices, and I was feeling awesome. Then my juicer broke, causing thoughts of 'it has broken because of you. Because how good it's making you feel is wrong. You don't deserve to feel better. Look at all those calories you had over the weekend. Fatty.' And it just hasn't stopped for just under a week now. Does anyone have any tips? How do I stay on track? Am I relapsing? Is this okay? I'm trying. But I just end up failing both at restricting and at not restricting, so I'm just panicking and crying. I just need...something.
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