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craftyqueen
401 M Embraced 3
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceApril 3, 2017
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I told my boss about my rape
Trauma Support / by craftyqueen
Last post
 December 9th, 2018
...See more Hi! I'm 36 now but when I was15 I was raped while on holiday by a stranger and then several times after whilst in an abusive relationship from 19-21yrs. My mental health recently had really taken a knock. Ive been doing really well but Im struggling at the moment. I have counselling every week which my work allow me to attend during work hours which is great. Ive had several miscarriages and bereavements so they just assume its that. Only a few people know about the above. So I decided to tell my boss but as Im not comfortable in saying it out loud I wrote him a letter. I told him that it had things in I couldnt say out loud and its up to him how he replys or if at all but I just wanted him to know as I think it might help in my recovery. He messaged me to say he didnt have any words at this point but hes always there for a chat, coffee and to help how he can. This is a great start but Im so scared and my anxiety is through the roof about the first meeting with him next week. Its such a big part of me but its also a part of me which eats away at me and sometimes feels like its suffocating me! Im glad I told him but I wish it wasnt something a had to tell him or anyone for that matter! I suppose I feel vulnerable as when I told my ex he then turned abusive and blamed me for the rape and then he would rape me as punishment for being a freak!
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Flashbacks to an untold story!
Trauma Support / by craftyqueen
Last post
 April 16th, 2017
...See more I keep thinking about something that happened when I was 14 before I was raped at 15. I went to the shops with my friend and after shopping we were going to the cinema. We sat on bench eating some food and an older guy maybe in his 20s kept looking at us. My friend said she though he was "fit" I had no interest in anything like that. Eventually he came over and started talking to us. He wanted us to go to his flat, I said no as we didn't know him and also I wanted to see the film. Anyway in the end I went along with my friend, I had no idea where we were going. We ended up in this guys flat. I was so scared as he locked the door when we went in. My friend didn't seem bothered. After about an hour I wanted to leave as he was trying stuff with us and I just wanted out. He wouldn't let us leave until one of us had kissed him and touched him. It was me he went for. I was so scared and wanted to throw up. I felt awful. I did what he said and we left. He walked us part way back and then left. I ran so fast, my friend was laughing. I certainly wasn't. This is the first time I've told anyone, I've only ever focused on the rape which was a year later. Not related either. Sorry for the long post x x x
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Time!
Trauma Support / by craftyqueen
Last post
 April 6th, 2017
...See more Hi! I was raped 20yrs ago when I was 15 and on holiday. I've never told my parents or many people to be honest. Does the pain ever go away? How can I stop those awful feelings from taking hold of me and throwing my life into despair? Loce to you all x x x
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