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determinedCoconut5417
326 M Embraced 3
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceMarch 15, 2019
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How do you know when you are ready to date again after divorce?
Relationship Stress / by determinedCoconut5417
Last post
 November 15th, 2019
...See more I'm separated 5 months and divorced 1 day. Marriage was only 2 years. How did you know that you were ready to date again?
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I did it! He's out of my house and out of state.
Relationship Stress / by determinedCoconut5417
Last post
 July 3rd, 2019
...See more I did it! I started packing to move to my parents house, and he realized that he couldn't pay the bills or support himself without me. He called a friend several states away and asked to stay in his spare room. It was really scary and he was really angry, but my parents helped me and my dog get out for the night so he could leave. He couldn't take our big tv with him (the only thing he cared about besides his Playstation) so I bought it and the rest of our joint property from him and made him sign a contract stating such. He called me a fu@$<ng bi^$h several times that day. He's still trying to talk to me so that he can blame me for his problems, but I've asked him to stop and am prepared to file a restraining order if I have to. He dragged my name through the mud on his way out to his family and friends, but it doesn't matter. I'm still standing and it's going to be okay.
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I think it's time. How do I do this?
Relationship Stress / by determinedCoconut5417
Last post
 June 20th, 2019
...See more We've been married for 2 years. I'm not happy. The reasons are numerous. My therapist says he's a narcissist. My Dr. says there is a codependency ( not sure if its mine or his). Yesterday I'm explaining to him what compassion is. Every time I express how his behavior makes me feel, he says I'm blaming. I think he's manipulating me, but I cant quite articulate how. Sometimes it seems like he knows exactly what he's doing and other times he plays dumb. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot for the last 8 months and if I even believe in soulmates, he wouldn't be mine. I believe i would be better off alone. What do i do first? I don't have kids, but all the stuff in the house (and the dog) was mine before we got married, so moving out would be so difficult, plus, I love the house we rent. Do I wait to talk about things until I have the money saved up to leave, or say it now and live in the misery I cause for several months? Ask him to leave? He has nowhere to go.
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How to support an unemployed partner?
Relationship Stress / by determinedCoconut5417
Last post
 May 5th, 2019
...See more My spouse lost their job about two months ago. I know that they are trying to find another job, but the struggle is real. Every rejection deflates their self-esteem. Every time I succeed at work or school, they say that they support me and are happy for me, but I know they are a bit jealous of my success. My partner likes to play video games, so that is what they do while I am at work. All day. I come home from work and fix our dinner nearly every night. I know I will spend my weekend cleaning the house and doing laundry. I come home to a grumpy person on the couch and when I go to bed (usually alone), I can hear them laughing with their video game friends and having fun without me, which is hurtful. I want to be a supportive partner, but it is really hard to do so when I don't feel supported. I would like to add that I do not point out to my spouse that I am disappointed in their activities, nor do I try to manipulate them into doing things I want them to do. We are both adults and I do not feel that it is my place to correct someone else's behavior. And frankly, my own mental health is more important to me than their bad behavior anyway. Any suggestions?
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