How to support an unemployed partner?
My spouse lost their job about two months ago. I know that they are trying to find another job, but the struggle is real. Every rejection deflates their self-esteem. Every time I succeed at work or school, they say that they support me and are happy for me, but I know they are a bit jealous of my success.
My partner likes to play video games, so that is what they do while I am at work. All day. I come home from work and fix our dinner nearly every night. I know I will spend my weekend cleaning the house and doing laundry. I come home to a grumpy person on the couch and when I go to bed (usually alone), I can hear them laughing with their video game friends and having fun without me, which is hurtful.
I want to be a supportive partner, but it is really hard to do so when I don't feel supported. I would like to add that I do not point out to my spouse that I am disappointed in their activities, nor do I try to manipulate them into doing things I want them to do. We are both adults and I do not feel that it is my place to correct someone else's behavior. And frankly, my own mental health is more important to me than their bad behavior anyway.
Any suggestions?
@determinedCoconut5417
Can you please clarify
1. Did they have the same habits before they lost their job playing videogames during all non-working hours?
2. Was the entire burden of household chores and dinners on you even when they were working or was it shared at the time?
Well,let me tell you something i xperienced despite i never had a partner.
The best way to deal with immediate unemployment when curriculums are not working in the short term (first 3 monthas after laid off) is trying to keep to be busy. Since your husband is taking much time with games, ask him that help you with house chores.
If that won't work try that your husband do something that can be contributing with his work skills or learn new ones that might help him in a next future, suggest him that try free courses on learning platforms, if he needs to be up to date on skills, or if he is intersted on something that keeps him busy instead of playing videogames. Trust me that frustration needs to be relieved ASAP, so his way to do so is gaming.
What is his work field / carreer / profession? Does he freelance gigs? If he doesn't try some platforms to get some gigs to do. Depending of his skill might work for a while.
Sometimes a side unofficial job, help out for a month or two; while i was unemploted for 3 years i managed to survive 2 of them with freelance work, the last one i had a couple of gigs repairing computers since i knew a bit of hardware along my carreer (graphic designer).
It will be a bit overkill but besides the job portals, including USAJobs (which is a bit tricky but will do enough), is there available a Specialized directory in his field of work? If so, he has to go and bring his curriculum / resume to HR or contact department where someone will take him into account. In my persona experience i did so and i had a 4 month seasonal job and after that i had a more stable carreer.
How is the situation going right now?