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diplomaticEast4339
779 M Little Steps
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceFebruary 23, 2016
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A horrible weekend
Relationship Stress / by diplomaticEast4339
Last post
 February 11th, 2020
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. He works night shift so we can't see each other during the weekdays at all which is why we always look forward to spending time during the weekend. He would always say no matter what, we have to see each other during the weekends. But last weekend was something different. His invited us for a house party and I couldn't go because I was not well. The party was until 3am and I thought to myself that it's okay we still have Sunday to spend time with each other. When it came to Sunday, he didn't tell me he had made plans to watch football with his friends. So I assumed he had kept Sunday free to spend time with me. Last minute I asked him to come over and have dinner. He said sure and then I asked if he had plans with his family or anything he said yes, he was supposed to have dinner with them. I felt bad because he hardly gets to spend time with them. So I told him to go ahead and have dinner with them. Then he told me that he will be seeing his friends after dinner. I got really upset and hurt because he spent the entire Saturday night with his friends until 3am and now he wants to also spend Sunday with them? Like didn't he think about wanting to spend time with me? Did he even think about me? It was just so hurtful and I cried so much cause that's how hurt I was. What happened to "no matter what we must see each other during the weekends". Is it wrong for me to make this a big deal?
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I am grateful
Positivity & Gratitude / by diplomaticEast4339
Last post
 January 9th, 2020
...See more I am grateful for those who came into my life and stayed. But I am also grateful for those who came into my life and then left after a while. Those that left taught me alot of things. They made me realize my worth and integrity. I learned from it and managed to rebuild myself ans I became stronger than I ever was. I did not settle for less in terms of anything and I am I didn't. However those that stayed in my life have taught me the beautiful things like being selfless, loving, compassionate and emphatic. I am beyond blessed for them Much love to everyone out there 💜
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Social anxiety
Anxiety Support / by diplomaticEast4339
Last post
 February 6th, 2020
...See more So I woke up today and I thought wow it's a new day and fresh start. But then sadness and anxiety slowly creeps into my bones. I start crying in bed thinking what is wrong with me. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be the person I used to be? I don't want to wake up every morning in tears. Some would say "then do something about it". I think to myself that I am doing something about it but my heart gets heavy and my eyes get watery. I don't know how to battle that. Another thing I overthink about is wondering what my partner sees in me. Because I see myself as a messed up person and I have all these emotions going on in my head. I shared with him how I was feeling but I regret it because now I can't stop overthinking of what he thinks of me as a person.
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Social anxiety
Anxiety Support / by diplomaticEast4339
Last post
 January 6th, 2020
...See more I have always been known as the quiet person. I have always struggled at gatherings cause I don't know what to say or what not to say. Few days ago I went on a trip with my boyfriend and his close friends. Throughout the whole trip I was quiet and I wasn't being my fun self. I hated the way I was during the trip because I know I'm not like that. I kept overthinking and it led to anxiety and also suicidal thoughts. My boyfriend kept saying I should put in more effort and I felt like I only had put in a little. I started thinking why am I like this? Why can't I be more sociable with everyone. (I have met his friends many times before the trip). I woke up this morning with terrible anxiety. I just wanted to be gone from the world. I feel messed up and I also feel like I disappointed my boyfriend. Also, all these thoughts are just eating me up inside. I feel like a loser and I don't have many friends. Only 1-2 people. I don't even have relatives because they always excluded me from gatherings and parties. I just wish I did better 😔
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