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energeticGrapes0118
2 299 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceNovember 13, 2025
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I just need to breathe freely, I need to free myself from my
Anxiety Support / by energeticGrapes0118
Last post
 February 21st
...See more Hi everyone. Forgive me for getting straight to the point, but it's what I need most right now... For about three weeks now, I've been dealing with comparison issues, low self-esteem, and periods of anxiety, which manifest as excessive thinking to the point of becoming overly distracted. I've been making progress, but I still notice these feelings of deep sadness, worry, disappointment, and frustration appearing every day. Comparing myself to others is especially killing me, as is something similar to anxiety and the constant need for control. Today I reached the point of being fed up with myself. I did some pretty incoherent things because I find it really, really hard to make decisions. This is because I'm quite prone to prioritizing my emotions over what's perceived as "right." I don't know what's right sometimes, and I sabotage myself a lot in that regard. I'm ashamed of this because I don't dare to do anything different or challenging. That scares me; I don't feel capable. I compare myself a lot, and I want to stop. I want to be myself; just let me be. There's something that worries me, and I don't know the specific reason, but I notice that I feel increasingly sad, inadequate, and useless. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my actions. I've even come to believe that I'm in a kind of alienation because I can't connect with my true self. I don't know what I should do or how to act, but I'm aware that I don't need answers. If I can calm down and live in the present, I can act more in accordance with my principles. However, I feel that my thoughts and feelings are a jumble that prevents me from living that way. Finally, another thing I regret is self-harm in the past. I managed to change that bad habit, but I have the feeling that I failed at something, and that I'll never be able to overcome the mistake I made. That no matter how hard I try to improve, it will come to someone, and they'll say, "No matter how much I suffered, I never hurt myself." Please forgive my rambling, incoherent writing, but I needed someone to read it. The last thing I want is to make anyone uncomfortable by not knowing how to deal with my life. I am incredibly grateful for you taking the time to read and help all of us who need it. Thank you.
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13/01/2026
Anxiety Support / by energeticGrapes0118
Last post
 January 15th
...See more Hello, first of all I want to thank you for giving a bit of your attention and time in this space to everyone who needs it, including myself. Today I have been “struggling” with my old habits; I simply want to share a bit of my situation with you. This year I am about to take a very important exam (not only on an academic level, it means more to me than that). Because of this, some of my anxious and perfectionist behaviors and attitudes have started to worsen. Right now I feel very anxious. I look for something that gives me instant satisfaction; I take refuge in food, social media, isolating myself from everything, etc. I was slowly getting better, but once again I am relapsing. I feel like I am not alive, I feel trapped in my own expectations, in comparison, but above all, in these feelings of frustration, guilt, and regret. Things are not as bad as they seem, but I think my mind works against me. I have been demanding too much from myself—to the point where even resting feels unforgivable. I feel like I can’t allow myself to rest because it makes me feel guilty, and then my cycles of “bad habits” that I promised myself to leave behind return, and I let myself be dragged by them again. Then more guilt and regret follow. The worst part is that at the end of the day, I realize I ended up not moving forward or doing anything other than blaming myself. I feel terribly anxious, I don’t know what I can do… I need to keep working on my projects, but I notice that it is very hard for me to concentrate. In recent weeks, I have come across some resources or practices that I truly believe can help me, including meditation and some Buddhist books that, honestly, relieved me a lot when I needed it. Even so, I still find it difficult to try to live better with myself and with the world. I apologize for my lack of coherence, but I am very afraid—afraid of not being able to do things better, and of other things that I can’t even describe.
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I'm still afraid of what they think.
Self-Harm Recovery / by energeticGrapes0118
Last post
 November 24th, 2025
...See more Hi, this is my first time interacting here, so I'm a little nervous... A couple of years ago I used to self-harm, but I've stopped. Now I think I'm on the right track, but something is bothering me a bit: I have to hide my scars on my arms. I hide them at school and anywhere else except at home. I wonder if it will always be like this, because I'm still afraid of what people might think of me. Maybe they'll stop taking me seriously, judge me, or make me feel less than because I didn't know how to deal with my feelings. Anyway, I just wanted to share this. Thank you so much.
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