13/01/2026

Hello, first of all I want to thank you for giving a bit of your attention and time in this space to everyone who needs it, including myself.

Today I have been “struggling” with my old habits; I simply want to share a bit of my situation with you.

This year I am about to take a very important exam (not only on an academic level, it means more to me than that). Because of this, some of my anxious and perfectionist behaviors and attitudes have started to worsen.

Right now I feel very anxious. I look for something that gives me instant satisfaction; I take refuge in food, social media, isolating myself from everything, etc. I was slowly getting better, but once again I am relapsing. I feel like I am not alive, I feel trapped in my own expectations, in comparison, but above all, in these feelings of frustration, guilt, and regret.

Things are not as bad as they seem, but I think my mind works against me. I have been demanding too much from myself—to the point where even resting feels unforgivable. I feel like I can’t allow myself to rest because it makes me feel guilty, and then my cycles of “bad habits” that I promised myself to leave behind return, and I let myself be dragged by them again. Then more guilt and regret follow. The worst part is that at the end of the day, I realize I ended up not moving forward or doing anything other than blaming myself.

I feel terribly anxious, I don’t know what I can do… I need to keep working on my projects, but I notice that it is very hard for me to concentrate.

In recent weeks, I have come across some resources or practices that I truly believe can help me, including meditation and some Buddhist books that, honestly, relieved me a lot when I needed it. Even so, I still find it difficult to try to live better with myself and with the world.

I apologize for my lack of coherence, but I am very afraid—afraid of not being able to do things better, and of other things that I can’t even describe.