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gardenlady
2,620 M Hopeful Heart 5
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts85 Forum posts44 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2017 Member sinceSeptember 15, 2016
Bio

I'm a Navy Veteran and a single mom. I love to garden and crochet when I have free time. I suffer from Depression and Anxiety but am learning to cope.

Recent forum posts
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Migraines / Headaches
Disability Support / by gardenlady
Last post
 December 4th, 2016
...See more Does any one suffer from Migraine's? Or headaches due to weather changes? I am dealing with a wopper this morning. I am pretty sure it is a combination of the two, plus a little bit of bad nights sleep mixed in. I'm just wondering what you folks do to help deal with it.
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Not posting any thing good again
Depression Support / by gardenlady
Last post
 November 3rd, 2016
...See more So this weekend was an example of what not to say. I was visiting my folks and was catching them up on things. Perfectly harmless. Well I told them how it's been a week since I had a Charlie horse. Yay! Had a Charlie horse that night. Told them how I've been lucky and had my car for 10 years. Got into an accident and wrecked my car the next day. So im not posting or taking about anything good in my life for a while. I simply can't afford it.
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I feel like I am going to loose my kids
Depression Support / by gardenlady
Last post
 October 18th, 2016
...See more So my ex-husband mentioned today that if I don't wake up and clean the house he is going to think about taking our kids away from me. See my house is a mess. There are always dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and papers everywhere. Just a big mess. Are the kids healthy? Yes. Are they safe? Yes. Loved? Yes. But he makes more money than me. Has a much cleaner home. I can't say if he files for custody if he will win or not but I am sure that my depression and anxiety isn't going to help me keep them. I can't live with out my kids. I hate my weekends when they are with him. It's only every other weekend but I hate it. I need my kids. I don't know what I am going to do if he takes them away from me. I'm just so upset right now. I don't know what to do. I just can't loose them. He keeps telling me just get up off your butt and clean the house. He just doesn't understand. It's not that easy. He just doesn't get it. I want to clean up but I can't I don't know how to get up and do it. I may get up for a little bit but it never lasts long. Ok vent over. I'm still upset but vent is over for now.
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I'm surviving.....mostly
Relationship Stress / by gardenlady
Last post
 October 17th, 2016
...See more So I was married for 15 years. We met while we were both in the Navy. Started dating, got married, had 2 wonderful kids, and eventually both left the Navy. Where did our marriage go wrong? I don't know. I don't think it was his fault or mine. While we were active duty one of us was always on a ship. So that ment lots of time away. It may have been helpful for our marriage looking back at the last 5 years of our marriage. I didn't ask for the divorce. He did. I was devastated. He said things he can never take back. He's sorry for them now but they were still said. Things about my weight and looks. Hurtful things. I too may have said somethings but not as cruel...at least not that I remember. After telling the kids he moved out last August. We live in a state where we can simply file for divorce with out lawyers. We down load the forms online fill them out and pay the filing fee. It took 4 months from the date we started the papers. As of this past February I am a single divorced mother of 2. And it cost us less than $200. I'm thankful for that. We have not gotten the custody or the child siupport done threw the courts nor do we have plans to at this time. We are still mostly friendly and don't want to drag the kids through that. So as long as it's not an issue we are leaving it the way it is. The kids live with me. He sees them twice a during the week and has them every other weekend. It's hard on me when he has them but I am making it through. He helps out every so often...changed the oil in my car a few months back. Fixed my ceiling. Small things like that but mostly because helping me helps the kids. We've had a few fights here and there. But I am learning more and more how controling he was. See I am a terrible house person....not just wife, person. I hate cleaning. Ok thats not really true...I don't mind it that much. But the house is a mess. We often run out of clean clothes and dishes...just cause I don't do them. Now we never eat off dirty dishes or wear dirty clothes we just tend to run very low I guess is a better way to say it. In fact I have 2 baskets of clean unfolded clothes sitting in front of me. It's one of the things that drove him nuts. After I got out of the Navy I was a stay at home mom, and I didn't do much. Our kids have never gone with out but they could have more I guess. They need chores...they have them now. It's the little things. I don't make them clean their rooms like I should. But anyways, he was always hard on us and very negative. Our straight A daughter would get a 94 on a test and he would say good but why didn't you get 100. He always followed praise with a but. I hate it. He still does. He hasn't learned. Even after telling him his now 13 year old daughter is scared to talk to him about her grades he just doens't get it. In fact recently she told me about her faith....or rather her lack of faith in God. 3 weeks later she finally told him. She was scarred. And rightfully so as he has yet to let it go. But thats another story. Our 9 year old son has just been diagnosed with depression. I am sucking it up and allowing my ex to come with us to therapy. I didn't want him to as I feared he would point out my bad parenting like the messy home. But for our son I felt it was important that we all support him. So the ex came....of course he and I argued in there....as I suspected but it was more he said something and I once agian backed down and shut my mouth. I don't love him any more as I can see the negative impact he was and still is having on my life. But I do miss the companionship. I am however a stronger person now than I was last year. I am on this site now learning how to find my triggers and "fix" myself. I've had depression and anxiety for years. I am having lots of health issues now, but I am taking a few more active steps to help change them. I see my doc and am getting things worked out. You folks on here mean the world to me. The way we can support each other is wonderful. I joined this group to maybe help others. Granted my divorce was far from messy. It was emotional yes. But not as bad as it could have been. If my story or my being here can help someone even just one person then my pain will have been worth it.
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Hey there
Relationship Stress / by gardenlady
Last post
 June 9th, 2018
...See more So I just found this forum. Not the site....just the forum. I'm Melissa, Im about to be 38 and a divorced mom of 2 wonderful kids. I have depression and anxiety, have for years. I was married for 15 years. It is both a good divorce and a bad one. I'll share my story later tomorrow. Just wanted to say hi.
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My health is killing me
Anxiety Support / by gardenlady
Last post
 October 10th, 2016
...See more So for the last year and a half or so my health hasn't been all that great. Actually I'd say more like 2 years. Until recently I have had just one major issue.....we have classified it as IBS as we can't find anything else wrong. So much has happened over the last 2 years. I moved to a new state. Started working again. Got a divorce. Ok so not a lot. But still. With the IBS issues.....or sorta IBS issues I should be a stick figure but I'm not....in fact I am gaining weight agian. Ok Ok I know its partially my own fault. I drink Mountain Dew....and not just a little. Although I have cut back quite a bit. Anyways. Although the constant trips to the bathroom are annoying, they are tollerable for the most part. I mean I deal. It's just a part of my life now is how I see it. Well as of about 3 weeks ago a new symptom has started. I am having breathing issues. In the last 3 weeks I have been to the hospital twice because I was having trouble catching my breath. I am on medication for it. Allergy meds (as we thought at first that was the cause) and even steroids. But alas this weekend I had to use the nebulizer 4 times regardless. In talking to my family we are starting to think that maybe something else other than allergies is the cause. I know that I suffer from Anxiety and Depression. I have been on medications since 2007. Different ones and different doses but still. I am starting to think that the anxiety part is not under control. Granted these last 2 years have been a bit interesting to say the least so that is part of the reasoning. But I am so tired of being tired and so much more. i hate using the nebulizer. I hate the frequent trips to the bathroom. I hate that I can't seem to loose weight.....even when I did cut out the soda I didn't loose weight. I just want to be normal again. I joined 7 cups to seek help. Ended up becoming a listener as well to help others. I have learned so much. I love this place. I deperatly need to learn what my anxiety triggers are so that I can fight them as they are happening not say after the fact oh yeah I was freaking out then wasn't I. I am trying to get to see someone from the VA, but either it has to be on a day I just can't go or it's over an hour away. I can't afford it other wise. Navy medical, or rather the Veterans medical isn't always very friendly or easy to deal with. Sorry this turned out to be more of a rant than a story. Anyways what I wanted to say is that althoght I am going thorugh health issues that are killing me....sometimes literlaly the way I've been breathing. I am still here. I still try to look at the possitive. It's not easy but I try. There is a lot of good in my life, I just have to remember to look for it.
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Can't stop crying
Depression Support / by gardenlady
Last post
 September 26th, 2016
...See more So, I'm recently divorced. I have 2 great kids. My Ex and I split amicably so we still get along most of the time. Long story short our 13 year old told me weeks ago she doesn't believe in God. Although not happy I understood, she's allowed to feel this way. Well she finally told my ex tonight. After she told him she came home from piano and when he left cried her eyes out. Hard. Then he called me. Wanted to know how I felt. I told him. Basically he began to tell me that he will still make her go to church (which he does have a right to do on his weekends) and wanted to know if I start going again will I make her go. I said I wouldn't. I don't feel that forcing her is right. Basicaly words were said and he said I wasn't being a Christian if I didn't worry about her eternal life and so on and make her go. So of course that makes me start to cry cause it makes me mad and also brings up my feelings of being a bad Mom. I couldn't make my marriage work. My house is a mess. I have no money half the time cause of bills. Other things were said too like how I treat her like a friend not my daughter. Which yes I do sometimes. Cause sometimes I need a friend or she does. Anyways I can't stop crying now. I have no idea what to do now. Thanks for reading.
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