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gentleStrings95
1 813 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts87 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes45 Current upvotes45 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 20, 2015
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Men's December Homework!
Men's Issues / by gentleStrings95
Last post
December 22nd, 2025
...See more So after spending some time on here, I noticed several of the communities have various check in's and seeing how everyone is doing this month. And then I look at us. There isn't much updates here so I'm going to try. It's tough putting ourselves out there, so Today's challenge is simple. Check in a friend, a simple text will do. It can be as simple as "Hey hows everything going", "You doing alright?", "Whats new buddy". Often enough we give typical responses like "living the dream", or "I'm doing", this is fine but start the conversation. Ask a buddy out for a beer, or a board game night. offer to come by on the weekend and help with a chore or watch a game. Every one of us is different and sometimes just checking in is all that matters, maybe we dont need to get deep and ask how things are going, maybe we just got to ask whats the latest thing they are tossing on the BBQ this weekend. But we gotta look after each other. I'll keep trying to post these daily but feel free for anyone to jump in with your own.
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There's no safe men's spots, clubs or events.
Men's Issues / by gentleStrings95
Last post
December 10th, 2025
...See more So after getting into a heated argument with my wife last month she said I never leave the house and do anything. I mentioned before that I dont have a car ( I do, but its being force lent to someone else so I can't use it) I got to the gym multiple times a week but there's no one to actually talk to, we're all stuck in our own head. I've used event bright or *** marketplace but there are no events or groups for us, it's all places for wemon, which is fine I'm not against that. Just why dont we have our on spot that isn't some sport. I'm just ranting and feeling alone, unwanted and unloved.
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I feel like I would be less alone in the woods by myself than I would at home.
Men's Issues / by gentleStrings95
Last post
November 14th, 2025
...See more I talk to a therapist monthly, its all I can afford.  45, married. Never a priority for anyone.  I'm overwhelmed even though things are dead at work; I keep applying to other positions because I dont think the company is going to last much longer. I can never go do anything because my own car is always in use by a kid my wife rescued. I cant ever do anything because my wife always needs money for her bills or travel (yeah she travels solo; I cant afford it, or the time off) I try and go for walks, and go to the gym when I can but I'm overweight, stressed. There is nothing but time when no one is near me, and I just want it to be over. I dont want anything negative to happen to me, I just wish I could skip this. Wake up and have everything sorted out. I do all the cooking, all the cleaning and no one seems to care.  I have tried working on my relationship with my wife, we use the paired app but its nothing but market research and ai junk.  I asked for couples counseling 5 times now and even when we redid the budget there was no funds for it because it had to go elsewhere.  I just feel so trapped, and I have no idea what to do. I dont have family; not really. I dont know them. I want to see the good things and be a part of them, but i cant find a new job due to so much industry change. I just can't do anything and i dont know what to do.
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I'm nothing more than a broom, waiting to be used.
Depression Support / by gentleStrings95
Last post
September 21st, 2025
...See more I have a hard time accepting that I may be depressed; the main reason is I can find happiness and be happy about things and look forward to things. But I'm a 45 year old man in a dead bedroom marriage. I do all the cooking, cleaning and taking care of our kids who are now in their teens. I bring home most of the money, and because of that its always gone. If im lucky if I can spend $20 on myself per check. She gets to out money in savings and I dont. I even have to send her money to take care of bills. Then I get told I stress about money too much. She's in another country right now, on yet another vacation. I'll admit most of those vacations are cheap but we wasn't getting paid while she's gone. So more financial stress on me. Although cheap she never realizes the cost to others around her. We even have a semi-adoped kid who's parents just did not want her anymore once she was 16. She stays in our house for free (friend of my daughter's) withno job we pay her car insurance, and cell phone bill. While she drives my car everywhere because I work from home; she needs it so she dose not have to walk 20 minutes to hairstyling school. I work in I.t. for a dying company who has had to reduce my pay to stay afloat, and the I.t. industry is so flooded its impossible to get another job. Working 9-5 m-f, and about 2-3 hours a night and on weekends due to critical issues, i dont get bonus pay for it. I have gained a lot of weight in the last 5 years due to these stresses, and something always comes up preventing me from going to the gym. Things just are ***, how can I change my perception and feel better about stuff. Drugs dont work, alcohol doesn't work. I have too much responsibility to do those things, to many people need me to be there. No one is there for me. Even my dnd group that I was in since I was 16 have stopped being there for me. They would rather play with someone who molested my daughter knowing full well its an issue. My birthday has been forgotten about several times. I reach out and no one is there, including wife. They reach out and like a broom in a closet in always ready to work. I cant get along with my son, he has severe ADHD he uses it as an excuse, not doing work at school, his room is a disaster. Garbage and mice. I have to spend all weekend cleaning it only to be yelled at by him, and kicked and pushed and shoved It's a vicious cycle of circular thinking I need to break. Maybe iifi was more of a man, like I see others being. Not giving a ahit about people. Yelling at their wives and kids. Looking out for number 1. That or I need to change my life. I'm 45, I can't imagine being a failure of a husband and being in a single $2000 1 bedroom apartment. Who can afford that... i feel so trapped. No way to get out, no one to love me. No way to do things for myself . I'm fine being alone, I just can't stand being alone while surrounded by people who are supposed to love me. I've had lots of conversations with my wife and friends on this stuf, but it never seems to matter.
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