I feel like I would be less alone in the woods by myself than I would at home.

I talk to a therapist monthly, its all I can afford. 

45, married. Never a priority for anyone.  I'm overwhelmed even though things are dead at work; I keep applying to other positions because I dont think the company is going to last much longer. I can never go do anything because my own car is always in use by a kid my wife rescued. I cant ever do anything because my wife always needs money for her bills or travel (yeah she travels solo; I cant afford it, or the time off)

I try and go for walks, and go to the gym when I can but I'm overweight, stressed. There is nothing but time when no one is near me, and I just want it to be over. I dont want anything negative to happen to me, I just wish I could skip this. Wake up and have everything sorted out.

I do all the cooking, all the cleaning and no one seems to care. 

I have tried working on my relationship with my wife, we use the paired app but its nothing but market research and ai junk.  I asked for couples counseling 5 times now and even when we redid the budget there was no funds for it because it had to go elsewhere. 

I just feel so trapped, and I have no idea what to do. I dont have family; not really. I dont know them.

I want to see the good things and be a part of them, but i cant find a new job due to so much industry change. I just can't do anything and i dont know what to do.