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gonerlair
1 1,397 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts87 Forum posts38 Forum upvotes56 Current upvotes56 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceMay 19, 2024
Bio

hey there, im a girl, im js on here cause lately ive been struggling a lot and even with irl therapy is not enough.

Recent forum posts
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Views of intimacy ruined
Relationship Stress / by gonerlair
Last post
 February 20th
...See more Hey everyone, so today my bf told me he’s been feeling miserable cause well we don’t have intimacy, we used to get intimate often like two years ago but slowly stopped, thing is ive always been scared, but i havent shown it. Before my bf i was with some guy for two months who forced me to send inappropriate pictures and i never felt happy during it, never enjoyed it, it was forced, i was threatened to be broken up with. so my brain has linked intimacy with stress and loss of control, it has affected my relationship, thing is my bf wont leave me cause we dont have intimacy but he just feels like ***. I love him a lot but i am scared. I cant even hold a kiss for long. Im not sure how to fix this i hate my ex for ruining my views of intimacy.
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Problems
Relationship Stress / by gonerlair
Last post
 February 20th
...See more So me and my bf have been together for nearly two months (we’ve known eachother for 11 years, liked each other for like 3 years), and on valentines day we kind of showed that were together, now theres this one extremely popular girl in our class, has been school president several times, smart, shes actually pretty, and at the start of the year my bf and her started chatting, he only wants good or neutral relationships with classmates to avoid drama, and i’ve been fine with them talking, im not crazy like not letting him have girls as friends as long as theyre respectful of the relationship, the girl hs always saved his snaps and texted him often given reactions to funny stuff, but suddenly on valentines day when he posted me on his story, she went radio silent, stopped saving snaps stopped texting left him on seen even, he asks whats wrong and she gets aggressive saying “what do u want? U have a gf”, i have actually one other time felt shes too weird with my bf but brushed it off but this time i was quite sure she likes my bf, she never denied having feelings for him when he asked it directly, he has been keeping now a distance after i explained i dont feel secure in the relationship, although he still sort of keeps saying im probably misunderstanding the situation, but i know what goes on in a girls mind especially when she acts that way. Ive been feeling like i have competition even if he keeps saying he only wants me and hes legit been waiting to be with me even though he could’ve went ahead and dated prettier girls. Hes done so much for me and ive met his family, his relatives, and hes meeting my relatives soon and next week hes meeting my grandpa. Even with all of this i still feel like i could lose him, and so ive been just getting worse mentally, suggesting breakups but i promised i wouldnt, i just havent been the same ever since the girl acted the way she has, and she once threw a ball at me full speed while i was sitting. Im not sure how to stop thinking of her and go back to how things were when we hadnt gone fully public.
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The thoughts r back
Depression Support / by gonerlair
Last post
 February 20th
...See more I havent been on here for a while, mainly cause ive been getting better but suddenly i again feel just *** the thoughts are back, idk what caused it, so many things have happened, a girl suddenly became aggressive towards me when me and my bf finally revealed were tg, she likes him n just idk, another thing is ive been so exhausted from driving lessons, i had my first lesson yesterday and i have to eat dinner at 5pm now two days a week, i get home extremely late, my routine has been messed up. It all happened so fast. I genuinely dont know how to deal with it anymore, i mean what the *** am i even supposed to do about the girl? Shes popular and stuff and im randomly just disliked, i havent done anything to anyone in my class but suddenly theyre being somewhat aggressive towards me, its overwhelming considering ive been a ghost in my class this whole time. I dont want any kind of friendship w the girls in my class ive always just wanted a neutral relationship where we talk only when absolutely necessary.
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Trauma from past
Trauma Support / by gonerlair
Last post
 December 1st, 2025
...See more I have trauma from my mom being abusive back when i was younger and from my sister hitting me too. Its just a long chain where my dad hit my sister so she took it out on me. I really have been getting better not flinching as much but ever since my depression worsened ive been sitting aside in pe from genuinely having no energy, and here comes the problem, my classmates coincidentally always pick to throw a ball right next to me or into the hoops above me when theres 5 other hoops available. This keeps triggering panic attacks and constantly flinching, to the point i flinch if even a shadow comes into my vision. Ive been getting more scared from anything flinching from sudden things more often. Nobody in my class actually knows of my trauma, obviously and i dont plan to share that, but ive been constantly on the verge of tears in every pe class cause of how much anxiety i get cause i genuinely dont wanna be hit. Im getting terrified of anyone making sudden movements again even my partner. It hurts to again be this bad but its difficult to control it looking at the fact my depressions worsening and im barely able to do anything. Im now even in pe and im slightly crying from the pressure.
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Getting worse
Depression Support / by gonerlair
Last post
 November 30th, 2025
...See more I posted here about a month ago, how it feels like my depression is worsening and ruining my life more. I just keep arguing more with someone i love and i keep pushing him away saying we shouldnt be together at all. He’s starting to think the same but more like that we shouldn’t be together cause it seems like i don’t want him. I really do but i am struggling to change myself cause i have no support from anyone therapy has been useless i refuse anti depressants cause i would miss more school and fail cause of them, i feel sick if i use them. I genuinely have no idea what to do. I wanna assure him that i love him and want him but he is startong to act the same way i do towards him and its making me realise how genuinely terrible i am. I physically cant change myself cause of how bad its gotten, i am starting to struggle with brushing my teeth and doing proper skincare. Im just unable to do simple things that are important to me. Im losing myself and *** up friendships and a relationship. I dont know what to do anymore. Nor what can my partner do.
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Advice needed
Relationship Stress / by gonerlair
Last post
 November 8th, 2025
...See more Im soon gonna be in a relationship with someone, we already act like a couple but we argue so much and i have been feeling like being together isn’t a good idea, he wont budge about waiting for longer. I have deep depression which seems to be worsening, no clue if its from the major stress from school thats worse than its ever been, or anemia (though im on medication for anemia) im just getting worse mentally and im scared he’ll get tired and leave even though hes put up with my *** for a few years now, i just need advice that he should get for helping me and us to be able to have a healthy relationship, i have no clue what he needs to do and neither does he.
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What helped you manage anxiety/panic attacks?
Anxiety Support / by gonerlair
Last post
 November 5th, 2025
...See more I struggle with pretty bad anxiety, anything wrong and i start hyperventilating and crying , sometimes shaking, happens every week. I really want to get better since they just have been affecting my grades and overall daily life.
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What helped you start feeling better from depression?
Depression Support / by gonerlair
Last post
 November 10th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, i’ve been getting worse. I dont want to take antidepressants cause they made me so sick when i took even half a tablet and i already am taking other medications. I want something more natural idk? I do think one of the reasons its been getting worse is cause of anemia which im trying to fix with medication. I tried writing a log of my everyday, honestly barely did anything though i did keep them short. I would appreciate any suggestions its just i am starting to struggle to do basic hygiene and i would hate it if i wouldnt shower (im a huge germaphobe)
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